Adjustable Cup – How to get a bigger cup of tea.

Brake Shoe – What happened when Cinderella dropped her glass slipper.

Chainwheel – How to lock you bike so that only the frame is stolen.

Dooring – Nothing amusing to see here.

English Racer – Victoria Pendleton.

Face Plant – Why your mother told you to keep your nose clean.

Granny Gear – Cycling in bloomers.

Head Tube – Putting helmet-mounted camera footage on the Internet.

Involuntary Dismount – Driving somewhere.

Jam Nut – Owwww.

Kickstand – The proper sequence of events should someone push you off your bike.

LBS – Look Before Swerving.

Mountain Bike – A bike designed to be ridden on flat surfaces, usually pavements.

Noodle – That bit of hair which gets in your mouth but you can’t spit out.

Over the Bars – Giving up alcohol.

P******e – Something that only occurs when you’re running late.

Quick-Release – Having a pee at the side of the road.

Rim – The part of the body which hurts after the first long ride on a bike.

Stud – A male cyclist.

Touring – Taking a “short cut.”

U-brake – What to do at red traffic lights.

Vice-Grip – If you are not yet Over the Bars.

Wheel Bender – A very gay cyclist.

XC – To hug the gutter in the countryside.

You’re Welcome – The response drivers expect after informing you that you’re “awll over the farkin’ raaad”.

Zip Tie - A means to store items inside office wear.