Any good jokes ... ?

[Chromatic]

My girlfriend always dreamt of getting married in a castle........so when I proposed I made that dream come true.... although you wouldn't have thought so from the look on the miserable cow's face as we were bouncing around.

 

[ufkacbln]

Allegedly the author of a series of medical comedies (Richard Gordon) told the story of taking blood from his Consultant's wife

"Just a little prick, Madam"

She replied

"Most of his house officers are!"

 

[vernon]

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who worked it out with a pencil?

Yes.

In logs I believe.

 

[ufkacbln]

Yes.

In logs I believe.

Common or natural?

 

[colly]

Common or natural?

You're going off at a tangent now.

 

[ufkacbln]

To a certain degree

 

[Leaway2]

The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.

"what is so good about living in Switzerland?"
"well the flag is a big plus"

 

[Cubist]

"what is so good about living in Switzerland?"
"well the flag is a big plus"

Groundhog Day was February 6th.

 

[Archie_tect]

Most pointless film?
Groundhog Day 2

 

[Speicher]

To a certain degree

Now you are being obtuse.

 

[swee'pea99]

Most pointless film?
Groundhog Day 2

Not a joke, but this reminds me of the story I heard - true, I believe - that when presented with the screenplay adapted from Alan Bennet's The Madness of George III, Hollywood execs insisted it be retitled The Madness of King George, saying that otherwise American punters, assuming they'd missed The Madness of George I and The Madness of George II, wouldn't go.

 

[nuttall1991]

Man goes into the butchers. Butcher tells him he is doing 8 legs of venison for £20. The man replies "no thanks, that's too dear"

 

[AndyRM]

Not a joke, but this reminds me of the story I heard - true, I believe - that when presented with the screenplay adapted from Alan Bennet's The Madness of George III, Hollywood execs insisted it be retitled The Madness of King George, saying that otherwise American punters, assuming they'd missed The Madness of George I and The Madness of George II, wouldn't go.

I genuinely wish that was true, and I hate to disappoint you: http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/george.asp

When I read that having heard the same tale a few years back I was devastated. If you need to talk, just drop me a PM and I will do my best to console you.

 

[swee'pea99]

I genuinely wish that was true, and I hate to disappoint you: http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/george.asp

When I read that having heard the same tale a few years back I was devastated. If you need to talk, just drop me a PM and I will do my best to console you.

Spoilsport!

 

[AndyRM]

Spoilsport!

I am truly sorry. I just didn't want you to be living a lie, no matter how amusing a lie it is!