Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
Dad, after seeing a rather beautiful girl appear on my on FB wall (She'd changed her profile picture): "Whose SHE?!"
Me: "A friend of mine in the UK."
Dad: "You know her?!"
Me: "Yes! I know hot women, ya'know!"...
Dad: "
"
Me: "A friend of mine in the UK."
Dad: "You know her?!"
Me: "Yes! I know hot women, ya'know!"...
Dad: "
"
subaqua
What’s the point
- Location
- Leytonstone
Me : right am off to visit site
work colleague : what on your bike, in London, Are you Maaaad .
Me: No , roads are fine if you ride sensibly and not like a tw@
WC: Yeah I suppose you are right.
work colleague : what on your bike, in London, Are you Maaaad .
Me: No , roads are fine if you ride sensibly and not like a tw@
WC: Yeah I suppose you are right.
Oldbloke
Guru
- Location
- Mayenne, France
Me on phone to courier-Where is my car battery I waited in all day for yesterday?
Lady at courier-We looked at your address on GPS and it looked like there are several houses under that housename so we didn't deliver
Me-Why would you think that? You could have called to verify
Her-Blah blah blah woffle woffle excuses nonsense
Me-when then will you deliver?
Her-Tomorrow
All this in French, a surreal episode
.
Lady at courier-We looked at your address on GPS and it looked like there are several houses under that housename so we didn't deliver
Me-Why would you think that? You could have called to verify
Her-Blah blah blah woffle woffle excuses nonsense
Me-when then will you deliver?
Her-Tomorrow
All this in French, a surreal episode
.
Mad Doug Biker
Just a damaged guy.
- Location
- Craggy Island
I don't watch this, but I was changing channels and came across an old episode of Strike It Rich. They were introducing a contestant who, I just caught had been attacked by someone with a hammer, so he was now slow and had epilepsy.
Now, he was saying all this, and the audience where laughing, yes, actually LAUGHING at him!!
Me: Why are they laughing?? What are they laughing at??
But, he then said that before then, he was a dancer and could still dance
Me: Oh look, they wont laugh now, will they?? And I bet they give him a condescending round of applause - Aww, look at him, poor little thing, look at him trying to do his best, awwwwwwww!!'
And that is exactly what they did. He then gave a demo, and everyone loved it.
Condescending wee ***ts!!
There is nothing more insulting than false sincerity.
Now, he was saying all this, and the audience where laughing, yes, actually LAUGHING at him!!
Me: Why are they laughing?? What are they laughing at??
But, he then said that before then, he was a dancer and could still dance
Me: Oh look, they wont laugh now, will they?? And I bet they give him a condescending round of applause - Aww, look at him, poor little thing, look at him trying to do his best, awwwwwwww!!'
And that is exactly what they did. He then gave a demo, and everyone loved it.
Condescending wee ***ts!!
There is nothing more insulting than false sincerity.
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Mad Doug Biker
Just a damaged guy.
- Location
- Craggy Island
That has just annoyed me and NO mistake!!
Walking with youngest and we see a chap riding a recumbent,
Daughter " ooh I'd have a bike like that"
Me "that's a recumbent, they can go pretty fast"
Girl passing " oh my god! What is that? That shouldn't be allowed on the road"
Daughter " is she an idiot?"
Daughter " ooh I'd have a bike like that"
Me "that's a recumbent, they can go pretty fast"
Girl passing " oh my god! What is that? That shouldn't be allowed on the road"
Daughter " is she an idiot?"
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Final meeting at a prospect first thing yesterday morning hoping to get the order....
Prospect - Hmmm, i'm torn, so why should I give you my custom and not your competitor ******** who were about 16.5 grand cheaper by the way...
Me - All I can say in truth is we do offer a better service and support, they as far as I know sub contract theirs out. As machines go they are perfectly fine and will do your job perfectly well..
Prospect -
that's very honest of you...
Me - What should I have said or done, bad mouth them, slag them off tell you how bad they are, none of which is true*
Prospect - when they were here last week that's all they did about you.
Me - I like to think we are a little more professional than that, bit childish. I can only assume they feel threatened or are desperate for sales. I'm pretty sure we can meet you half way with the 16.5k but I very much doubt we could go lower to be honest.
Later that day, I get a call from the office saying the PO had arrived!
one week into march and that's my month done
* knowing very well that's what the sales guy does who works the same area as me, I always use it to my advantage and shrug it off.
Prospect - Hmmm, i'm torn, so why should I give you my custom and not your competitor ******** who were about 16.5 grand cheaper by the way...
Me - All I can say in truth is we do offer a better service and support, they as far as I know sub contract theirs out. As machines go they are perfectly fine and will do your job perfectly well..
Prospect -
that's very honest of you...Me - What should I have said or done, bad mouth them, slag them off tell you how bad they are, none of which is true*
Prospect - when they were here last week that's all they did about you.
Me - I like to think we are a little more professional than that, bit childish. I can only assume they feel threatened or are desperate for sales. I'm pretty sure we can meet you half way with the 16.5k but I very much doubt we could go lower to be honest.
Later that day, I get a call from the office saying the PO had arrived!
one week into march and that's my month done* knowing very well that's what the sales guy does who works the same area as me, I always use it to my advantage and shrug it off.
Ganymede
Veteran
- Location
- Rural Kent
You're a clever seller!Final meeting at a prospect first thing yesterday morning hoping to get the order....
Prospect - Hmmm, i'm torn, so why should I give you my custom and not your competitor ******** who were about 16.5 grand cheaper by the way...
Me - All I can say in truth is we do offer a better service and support, they as far as I know sub contract theirs out. As machines go they are perfectly fine and will do your job perfectly well..
Prospect -
Me - What should I have said or done, bad mouth them, slag them off tell you how bad they are, none of which is true*
Prospect - when they were here last week that's all they did about you.
Me - I like to think we are a little more professional than that, bit childish. I can only assume they feel threatened or are desperate for sales. I'm pretty sure we can meet you half way with the 16.5k but I very much doubt we could go lower to be honest.
Later that day, I get a call from the office saying the PO had arrived!
* knowing very well that's what the sales guy does who works the same area as me, I always use it to my advantage and shrug it off.
Turbo Rider
Just can't reMember
- Location
- A compounded speck of dust
Brushing my boys teeth last night...he has aching front teeth...5 year old and none have dropped out yet, so I'm thinking they will soon...
Me "So, did I do a good job and did I hurt your teeth?"
Him "Well, you kind of did a good job and you kind of didn't hurt me"
Me "What do you mean my kind of?"
Him "I mean kind of"
Me "So did it hurt?"
Him "I tiny bit?"
Me "And did I do a good job?"
Him "You didn't brush as hard as usual?"
Me "So?"
Him "You're rubbish at brushing teeth"
About a minute later, he runs into the lounge the lounge to say goodnight to mummy..
Him "Mummy...can you brush my teeth next time...daddy's really rubbish at it..."
Me "So, did I do a good job and did I hurt your teeth?"
Him "Well, you kind of did a good job and you kind of didn't hurt me"
Me "What do you mean my kind of?"
Him "I mean kind of"
Me "So did it hurt?"
Him "I tiny bit?"
Me "And did I do a good job?"
Him "You didn't brush as hard as usual?"
Me "So?"
Him "You're rubbish at brushing teeth"
About a minute later, he runs into the lounge the lounge to say goodnight to mummy..
Him "Mummy...can you brush my teeth next time...daddy's really rubbish at it..."
jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
sionhughes
Active Member
- Location
- Buckley, North Wales
Not really dialogue, but one line that stood out from my day:
"World Book Day is a child's first introduction to the morning after walk of shame home after a student fancy dress night out"
"World Book Day is a child's first introduction to the morning after walk of shame home after a student fancy dress night out"
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
'Remind me why i'm going to swap the positions of the toilet and wash basin ?'..I call down to the wife.
I'm stood looking at all the pipework, hidden cistern, waste etc etc that's got to be moved when I refurbish the bathroom. Its going to add a days work, a lot of sweat and swearing in a very restricted place behind panelling.
'You saw what a neighbour had done in their bathroom and decided you wanted it that way'...said the wife. (we'd been looking at photos of their house for sale..i quite liked the layout and look.)
'Well its not going to happen now !'...'ive just been sizing it all up and all i'm doing is making a days work to swap two items around, it makes no sense'
'I don't mind..i never did' said the wife....
De-tile bathroom, remove bath and sink, fit new bath, re tile, fit vanity unit, new flooring plus all the odd bits afterwards...I suspect 4 days work...no need to make it 5 eh ?
And the cost ?
I'm stood looking at all the pipework, hidden cistern, waste etc etc that's got to be moved when I refurbish the bathroom. Its going to add a days work, a lot of sweat and swearing in a very restricted place behind panelling.
'You saw what a neighbour had done in their bathroom and decided you wanted it that way'...said the wife. (we'd been looking at photos of their house for sale..i quite liked the layout and look.)
'Well its not going to happen now !'...'ive just been sizing it all up and all i'm doing is making a days work to swap two items around, it makes no sense'
'I don't mind..i never did' said the wife....
De-tile bathroom, remove bath and sink, fit new bath, re tile, fit vanity unit, new flooring plus all the odd bits afterwards...I suspect 4 days work...no need to make it 5 eh ?
And the cost ?
i hate hills
Its my day to be brilliant
My teenage daughter said ' dad when the clocks change can WE ( me and her ) go out for a cycle run at night ? '.......if a cycle can make said young lady want to spend time with her old man the world really needs to buy a bike and stop all the trouble.
jhawk
Veteran
- Location
- New Brunswick, Canada
Apparently, when you've got crap internet, yelling:
"COMEON! SEND THE EMAIL, YOU FARKER!" Does nothing...
"COMEON! SEND THE EMAIL, YOU FARKER!" Does nothing...
