Give me some dialogue from your day

[swee'pea99]

Walking t'hound in the woods today, came across a dad and his two young sons (7 & 9?), all on bikes. Just caught dad saying they had to leave now, and the youngest son pipes up with 'Can't we do one more downhill go?' Dad responds: 'If we go down again, are you ready to come up again? Because if we go down again, we have to come back up again.' 'That's life,' I said.

 

[slowmotion]

I was summoned to my GP for an annual review. I have routine blood tests every six weeks at the local hospital to check that one of the drugs I take isn't knackering my liver, one of its potential side effects. I get sent a print out by the hospital after every test, but my GP had previously told me that sometimes he wasn't sent a copy. I asked him if the situation had improved.

"Well, the IT department tells me that it's all posted on The Cloud. The problem is that we can't actually find which bit of the Cloud".

We both giggled.

 

[ColinJ]

Been a helluva day...manic at work, no coffee break between 9.30 and 4.30, just rammed my sandwiches down my neck at 2ish.
Home, rush to get granddaughter ready to go back to her mums (my wife has been sitting for her all day)....and breathe......what a day, now, we're both starving and no tea prepared.
'Fish and chips ?'
'Yep, that'll do'
So in an effort to slow down and relax, we sat and ate tea on the field next to the chippie. Lovely, relaxed and sunny and just chatted. Got up, wandered across to the bin outside the chippie, deposited the wrappers, back to the car and set off home. Withing 500 yards....
'Where's my wallet ..'
Turned round, rushed to the spot we'd been sat...nothing. Checked the car, nothinh. Walked into the chipshop...
'I didn't leave my wallet here did i'
'No sorry'
'Hmmmm, thanks....hang on, I wonder if I had it in my hands when I put the wrappers in the bin...I'm gonna root through it '
'Do you want some gloves ?'..chip shop lady asked.
'No its OK, my rubbish is right at the top'
Picked up the top layer....and there it was wahayyyy

Lucky!

I nipped to the local supermarket before getting a lift up to Scotland last week. My wallet had been stolen a few weeks ago so I'd had to get a replacement wallet, bank card, railcard, library card etc. I had got £140 spending money for my holiday in the new wallet at the store ...

The dialogue ...

Checkout woman to my back as I walked away with shopping bags: Excuse me, sir. Sir! SIR! SIR - YOU HAVE LEFT YOUR WALLET BEHIND!!

ColinJ: Aaaargh, thanks for that - I am half deaf, and fully stupid - I would have been halfway to the Highlands before I noticed!

 

[John the Monkey]

Mrs M is watching some programme about Joanna Lumley being in Japan.

They are visiting a factory that makes a fermented rice beverage, and Mrs M had not heard the first part of the description on the programme.

Mrs M: "Oh, is that sake?"

Me: "No, I think she's being serious."

Youngest M: "I hate you."

 

[TVC]

I woke up on the armchair this morning (actually yesterday morning now).

'Oh, how did I get here?? I must have been pretty drunk, I don't remember a thing, not even getting home!'.

Later

'Urrgghh!! What has happened to my arms and shoulders? They are pretty sore!!'.

I spent half the day in bed 'recovering'.


I still don't know what the heck I've done to my arms and shoulders, but it feels muscular anyway.

You were great, we must do it again.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

You were great, we must do it again.

Even now I don't know what I did, it is a blank after a certain point!

 

[John the Monkey]

You were great, we must do it again.

His dancing with the young lady from Stranraer and her father was a terpsichorean delight! Who knew one could perform such a spirited version of the Bluebell Polka? And while singing an entirely original composition to the tune as well. Bravo sir!

I think what he said about badgers was a little uncalled for, mind.

 

[TVC]

His dancing with the young lady from Stranraer and her father was a terpsichorean delight! Who knew one could perform such a spirited version of the Bluebell Polka? And while singing an entirely original composition to the tune as well. Bravo sir!

I think what he said about badgers was a little uncalled for, mind.

Agreed. Also, I've never seen that done with a bunch of Gladioli before.

 

[John the Monkey]

Agreed. Also, I've never seen that done with a bunch of Gladioli before.

I think his unusual balloon sculpture probably saved things though - I've never seen non-euclidean geometries expressed with such elegance, nor from the starting point of a four foot long sausage dog.

 

[gbb]

'Grandad, Grandad...we had a squirrel in our house today '
'A squirrel ?'

Their dad, my son, explained...
'I opened the back door and this squirrel bolted in, a cat tried to follow, saw the dog and screeched to a halt, turned and ran off . The squirrel was behind the TV, the sofa, everywhere, we had a heck of a job to catch it '

How exciting is that for 5, 7 and 11 year old girls

 

[midlife]

'Grandad, Grandad...we had a squirrel in our house today '
'A squirrel ?'

Their dad, my son, explained...
'I opened the back door and this squirrel bolted in, a cat tried to follow, saw the dog and screeched to a halt, turned and ran off . The squirrel was behind the TV, the sofa, everywhere, we had a heck of a job to catch it '

How exciting is that for 5, 7 and 11 year old girls

A few years ago now but all I heard was...

"Dad, dad, dad............there's a bat in the bathroom"

And there was

Shaun

 

[annedonnelly]

It's hard to tell nowadays whether someone is talking to themselves or chatting on a hands-free phone.

Locking the bike up outside the supermarket yesterday a bloke walked past and turning to look into the shop:

"It's strange that you can't just walk up to someone in a supermarket and say 'You're sexy, can I have your name?'"

And then he continued walking past...

 

[ColinJ]

A few years ago now but all I heard was...

"Dad, dad, dad............there's a bat in the bathroom"

And there was

Shaun

Once, when he was young, my nephew suddenly demanded attention...

"Mum, mum, mum ............ there is a creepy crawly in my ear!"

She had a look, but could not see anything.

Nephew continued to make a fuss. My sister told him that if he carried on like that, she would take him to the doctor.

He started rolling about the floor, apparently in agony, so she picked him up and took him down to the local surgery. The GP took a look and ... recoiled in horror! He picked up a pair of long, narrow tweezers and extracted a ... BIG hairy moth!

 

[Scoosh]

Indeed @ColinJ !!

 

[rikki]

Business owner: 'It's not real debt - because you don't have to pay it straight away.'
Me: *thinks* (Now I know how you got to where you are now - insolvent)