Give me some dialogue from your day

[marknotgeorge]

One time when I was working at McDonald's:

Me: You know that 2 cheeseburgers for 99p offer, can I have 2 hamburgers instead? [It was a long time ago. I'd have said yes without even asking a manager.]
Till Girl: Sorry, it's just cheeseburgers.
Me: Right, I'll have 2 cheeseburgers without cheese, and [some other stuff].
(Till girl goes to Wrap & Call.)
TG: Can I have two cheeseburgers without cheese, please?
Big Bloke on Wrap & Call: You mean two hamburgers?

 

[gbb]

A few examples of work banter lately...
4 of us are sat round the table, one complains his car was shoddy repaired...
I reply...
'Was probably the apprentice did it'...and continued, turning to our apprentice....
'I mean, look at ours '
Much guffawing from everyone, apprentice included and he finished with a plaintiff...'oi'

We engineers are for the most part left alone, tea break when we like, as long as we like (unofficially, but we don't overdo it).
The packhouse staff get half an hour, it's bedlam, all frantically trying to get a microwave, you often see 3 or 4 people queuing for one.
Edgar is in one such queue, looking cheesed off, seeing his break disappearing, and he hasn't even eaten yet.
I wink at the guys on our table and call over...
'Edgar...c'mon, I've only got an hour for my dinner, I need that microwave before you'
A toothy grin is returned along with some (I suspect) Lithuanian expletives

 

[MossCommuter]

Woman on train: gosh this train's busy

Me: yeah, I think one of the Manchesters is playing against one of the Glasgows at soccer

Carriage load of footy fans: <guffaw>

Me:

 

[swee'pea99]

Walking t'hound in t'woods, I catch up with a woman who passed me at quite a speed a few minutes before. She's pausing in her 'reps'.

Me: No offense, but you look terrifyingly fit.
Her: Oh. Thanks. Well, I've only done one rep. Wait till I've finished all six - I'll be on my knees.
Me: Un-hunh...seriously though, you look like a cyborg or something.

She punches the air.

Her: Yes! I'll take that.

..and off she runs.

 

[John the Monkey]

Woman on train: gosh this train's busy

Me: yeah, I think one of the Manchesters is playing against one of the Glasgows at soccer

Carriage load of footy fans: <guffaw>

Me:

I'm impressed at the specificity.

 

[Spinney]

Not sure being called a cyborg is always taken as a complement - you may have been very lucky there!

 

[Chromatic]

Not sure being called a cyborg is always taken as a complement - you may have been very lucky there!

Well, she did mention being on her knees!

 

[swee'pea99]

Not sure being called a cyborg is always taken as a complement - you may have been very lucky there!

You're right, and I was a bit nervous about it, which is why I started with the 'no offense', but I hoped she'd take it the right way, and she did. And in my defence, she really did look like a cyborg. Not a gram of fat, washboard stomach, the whole bit.

 

[gavgav]

Sat in a Managers Meeting this afternoon, in the head of service's office and we notice, after an hour or so that someone has slipped his payslip under the door.

Head of Service "Who has put that under the door and why?"

My boss "They probably couldn't pick it up, due to the weight of it"


He did see the funny side!

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Sat in a Managers Meeting this afternoon, in the head of service's office and we notice, after an hour or so that someone has slipped his payslip under the door.

Head of Service "Who has put that under the door and why?"

My boss "They probably couldn't pick it up, due to the weight of it"


He did see the funny side!

The Nhs has not moved to E-pay slips yet?

 

[ColinJ]

The Nhs has not moved to E-pay slips yet?

NHS hospitals can't even get electronic access to your medical records from another district yet! (At least they couldn't in 2013 when I ended up in hospital in Northampton. I had to tell the doctors there what was in my records from my emergency admission to hospital in Halifax in 2012.)

 

[gavgav]

The Nhs has not moved to E-pay slips yet?

It's only just moved to paper from chalk boards

 

[gbb]

'Hey hey hey, don't kick the bl00dy trays around, no need for it ' I shouted to a line operative.
Line leader alerted me to a defective sensor on the line causing an empty tray conveyor to overfeed. As I'm looking at it, it started overfeeding again causing trays to spill off onto the floor, causing some perhaps natural frustration for one operative, but an unnecessary reaction as he full bloodedly booted them across the floor.
He muttered something about it being dangerous...'So step away for now then' I told him.

 

[NorthernDave]

"Does a Terry's Chocolate Orange count as one of your five a day?"

 

[Maverick Goose]

"Does a Terry's Chocolate Orange count as one of your five a day?"

Always!