Things you'd like to say, but can't

[gbb]

'You've fooked my job right up. I used to love my work but I may as well sling my toolbox in the river, the relentless drive for improvements (which I understand the need for) has fallen completely on MY shoulders while everyone else sits back and I spend more time in meetings, training others, paperwork etc etc etc, I have less and less time to do what I was employed to do (and what I love doing)
I'm a maintemance engineer not a trainer, an administrator or an assistant manager.
Fook the lot of ya.

 

[srw]

That bit of stuff on the worktop that looked like a bit of muesli that had just fallen out of my bowl and that I picked up and ate. It was a bit of muesli that had just fallen out of my bowl. It wasn't a chunk of raw garlic that had been there since Tuesday. And my mouth isn't full of garlic flavour at 7am which coffee isn't taking away.

 

[gbb]

Sod off and stop bothering me.

But I didn't, despite disturbing me while i'm off sick.

Safestyle salesman at the door.
Sorry mate, you replaced my doors 12 months ago and my windows 14 years ago...so I don't really need anything.
No, you can't arrange for someone to visit me tonight to discuss any future requirements,,,i just told you I don't need anything.
No you can't have my phone number because i'm pretty sure after we had the doors done (very efficiently I might add)...I suffered a sudden burst of spam phone calls, so i'm pretty sure you divvied up my details to all and sundry.

But he was polite and a generally nice fella doing a bit of a sh1tty job (IMO)...so respect (in the form of politeness) is given to him.

 

[Speicher]

I am very pleased that I have not been invited to your birthday party.

 

[derrick]

Read the question properly you moron.

 

[TheDoctor]

I am very pleased that I have not been invited to your birthday party.

You're more than welcome at my one!
(It's about ten months away though )

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

You're more than welcome at my one!
(It's about ten months away though )

Plenty of time for animosity to build then!

 

[Speicher]

You're more than welcome at my one!
(It's about ten months away though )

*puts date in diary*
I venture to suggest that your Birthday party will be much more fun than my mother's birthday party.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

One of the company directors asked me to fix his computer. Then rang later to ask me to deliver it to his house (There's a 'Use Me' signed tattooed across my forehead you know!). So I turned up at 9pm after my martial arts class wearing my favourite T shirt - the one that says 'No I will not fix your computer' across it.

Who needs to say anything when a T shirt says it all

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Just a note for VIP Coach Hire of Barnsley: The coach on your web page is driven by a guy that lives in Oxspring near Penistone. I know this as he drives at 60mph in that coach in a 30mph, (except past the camera in Thurgoland) and tailgated me all the way from Wortley to Oxspring last night.
Sorry pal but I don't speed for anyone. Not least some little shoot that thinks being in a big brown bus is intimidating.

 

[shouldbeinbed]

But he was polite and a generally nice fella doing a bit of a sh1tty job (IMO)...so respect (in the form of politeness) is given to him.

This is generally my attitude to cold callers and door knockers, it may be a job that irritates the recipients but it is a job and they've had enough about them to go for it and earn their way in the world, likely knowing how they'll be responded to by many. It is not their fault that some big corporate entity thinks us plebs need contacting in this way.

 

[ColinJ]

This is generally my attitude to cold callers and door knockers, it may be a job that irritates the recipients but it is a job and they've had enough about them to go for it and earn their way in the world, likely knowing how they'll be responded to by many. It is not their fault that some big corporate entity thinks us plebs need contacting in this way.

I try to be polite to them, but sometimes they make it almost impossible!

I'd had a stressful day at work and was just starting to unwind. The phone rang. Number withheld. Ignore. It rang again. Ignore. Again. Ignore. Again. Ok, answer the call and tell them to stop ringing ...

Cold caller: Good evening, I would just like to tell you about our new range of ...

ColinJ: Sorry, I'm not interested.

Cold caller: But we can do a very good deal on ...

ColinJ: I'm not interested.

Cold caller: It's the best deal that ...

ColinJ: I-AM-NOT-INTERESTED!

Cold caller: I am authorised to offer a time-limited deal whi ...

ColinJ: Ok, I am going to escalate my response to DEAF TWAT 2 - GO AWAY!!!

Cold caller: Are you aware that ...

ColinJ: Ok, we have now reached DEAF TWAT 1 - LEARN TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER AND GO AWAY, YOU TOTAL MORON!!!

I hang up. The phone rings again immediately from a withheld number. I ignore it ...

 

[Profpointy]

I tend to a polite "no thank you" unless they go on and don't take no for an answer. Rarely needed to go beyond mildly rude level 1.

There was a nice tale of a chap being mithered by conservatory salesmen, so he eventually got the salesman to visit.
Salesman duly turns up, "but you're in a 4th floor flat!". "Yes, now go back and tell those c^&*s back at the office and f(*& off!"

 

[Speicher]

I have a BT Call Guardian phone. It stops all that cold-call nonsense in its tracks.

 

[wheresthetorch]

Cold caller: Good evening, I would just like to tell you about our new range of ...

ColinJ: Sorry, I'm not interested.

The trick is, I think, to hang up at this point, rather than waste energy getting more and more irritated.