am i wrong???

[buggi]

sorry to put a dampner on Christmas day but i have to ask if i am justified in being a little pissed off that i sat in my sister's house the other day for over an hour and she didn't tell me she got married two weeks ago. everyone else knows.

she doesn't understand why i'm upset and i can't understand why she doesn't understand.

who is wrong here?

(by the way, besides that, i am actually pleased for her but i do think she should have told people as she is emigrating in 3 months and i think people would like to have been there. apparently i'm the only one that has reacted like this but i suspect no one else has told her how they really feel)

 

[buggi]

and i'm not upset she got married (who can blame her, it costs a fortune) just that i found out off someone else two weeks later.

 

[HelenD123]

Sounds a perfectly reasonable reaction to me.

 

[buggi]

and no doubt when she goes to my other sister's later i will get the slating of a lifetime for not being happy for her, even tho my other sister throws a wobbly if she's not first to know EVERYTHING. i don't expect to be the first to know but it would have been nice to have been told when i was round there the other day.

 

[buggi]

out of all my sisters she is the closest!!! or i thought she was. i'm pretty gutted she didn't tell me. she gave me some crap about her friends (who she invited) always being there for her (like when??? coz last time i saw her she was moaning they weren't) and made out like we weren't. she even moaned we (including my mum) didn't go round enough to see her so she's just "got on with her life". seems to have slipped her mind that she works awkward shifts and when she's not at work she's catching up on sleep, and that my mum and dad have her son about 60% of the time (he has his own bedroom at my mums) so that she can do her job and "get on with her life" as she puts it. i see her at my mum's at least two or 3 times a week! and if she's gonna get picky, i don't remember her coming round here much either! but as i see her two or 3 times a week it never really bothered me.

 

[buggi]

can you tell i'm pissed off?

 

[Smokin Joe]

Families, eh Buggi?

More zarking trouble than they're worth half the bloody time.

 

[beanzontoast]

buggi - my brother emigrated a few years ago. He's been back to UK several times since and hasn't once phoned or emailed. No Christmas cards - nothing. Have no idea what's up, but we're willing to hold the door open.

My advice (FWIW) - If you love each other, forgive her even though you don't understand, and keep trying.

 

[buggi]

yea well i told her i'm pleased for her, just upset she didn't tell me, but she's pissed off now so i suppose i'll have to wait for her to calm down.

 

[wafflycat]

I can understand why you're upset.

I'd ask you one thing, though. You say she's your closest sister and she's emigrating soon. In view of those things, don't let her know you're upset, or if you have already done so - build bridges NOW. Once she's emigrated it could be a long time until you see her again and you may regret it if, when she leaves, if you're on bad terms at that time.

Nowt as funny as families, you know!

 

[beanzontoast]

yea well i told her i'm pleased for her, just upset she didn't tell me, but she's pissed off now so i suppose i'll have to wait for her to calm down.

Probably best - emotions run higher than usual over Christmas and New Year anyhow.

 

[buggi]

she's not going until March Waffly, and i'm sure it will all calm down by tomorrow, i'm just pissed off right now.

 

[Night Train]

I don't get it. I can just about get why your sister might not have told anyone she was getting married at the time but to then not tell you when you last met her seems daft!

What is she hiding and why? And how is it that some people knew and told you when she didn't/wouldn't?
Not surprised you are a bit put out.

 

[vernon]

Some families are dysfunctional to varying degrees and at different levels.

About thirty years ago I drove sixty miles to visit my mother to find that not only had she moved but the entire street had been demolished. She just hadn't got around to writing a letter to let me know - neither of us had phones installed.

I just saw it as a challenge to find her new address and tracked her down in 20 minutes. I still smile at the image of turning the corner of the street where she lived and seeing a huge void.

I'd not get too hung up on the event. She's still your sister she kept a secret from you but hey - you saved on wedding presents and the expense of attending a wedding. The black mood will dissipate I'm sure.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

seems odd to me