Crap Joke

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Renard, 15 Apr 2008.

  1. Renard

    Renard Guest

    Simon goes on 'Stars in their eyes'. Matthew Kelly notices he's in a wheelchair. "What happened?" he asks. Simon replies, "I was in a car crash with my uncle, he died and I had my legs amputated, but they saved my uncle's legs and grafted them onto me. In six months time I will be able to walk again." "That's amazing" says Matthew, "Who are you going to be?" Simon says, "Tonight Matthew I'm going to be...

    (wait for it)

    ...Simon & Halfuncle!"

  2. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    Yes, it is crap, but it made me snigger, I'm ashamed to say:smile:
  3. OK - here's another one (all characters/references in this joke are entirely ficticious etc...)

    An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.

    'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.

    When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

    'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

    The Irishman nodded...'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

    'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

    'No, from the f**kin' skippin'
  4. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Salford, UK
  5. Paulus

    Paulus Getting older by the minute

    Do you want to join the Alzheimers protest march? If so learn the chant.

    "what do we want?"

    "I don't know"

    "When do we want it?"

    "want what?"
  6. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    Warning...very very innapropriate joke follows....

    Kids today, they don't know they're born......

    We did'nt have paedophiles when we were kids.......we had to buy our own sweets
  7. yenrod

    yenrod Guest

    ...Is anyone going to follow that one ~ ;)
  8. Melvil

    Melvil Standard nerd

    Very good :-)
  9. Keith Oates

    Keith Oates Janner

    Penarth, Wales
    The title seems to be fairly accurate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10. bobg

    bobg Über Member

    Crosby Merseyside
    I just spat out my chocolate chip icecream:biggrin::biggrin::biggrin: although it's a bit near the truth some days!!
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