Fantasy safety feature

[Nigeyy]

I've often fantasized of having some sort of pole, sticking out from the bike parallel to the road and into the road at around rear wheel height (would fit onto a rack nicely). The pole would have a diamond tip, as well as being spring loaded.

The idea would be if a car came too close, it wouldn't knock you off the bike, but would cause a nice scratch on the car. Any argument of whether or not a car came too close to you could be easily negated as if the car hit the flag, they were too close and you could clearly indicate how close someone came to you!!!

Now of course, I wouldn't really do this (very tempting though it might be), but it got me wondering, I've seen people in the past cycle with a similar arrangement (assuming there was no tip at the end, just a small triangular neon orange flag). Anyone had experience of this? Did it help? I'm assuming for city commuting this wouldn't be practical, but I reckon it would be perfrect for my commute. Just curious for any feedback.

 

[danny121]

I used to know a bloke who's bike has one of those orange-reflectors-on-a-stick (he was a regular at a pub I worked in), he swore that since fitting it all car/van/etc drivers gave him extra room when overtaking.

 

[Riding in Circles]

You can get them, they are those sprung sticky out reflector things.

 

[domtyler]

I am in the process of inventing a high powered laser that will sense when a motor vehicle is about to do something to piss me off and then burn "Watch Out For Cyclists Arsewipe" onto his retinas, slash his tyres and destroy his paintwork. All in the flash of an eye.

 

[Riding in Circles]

I am in the process of inventing a high powered laser that will sense when a motor vehicle is about to do something to piss me off and then burn "Watch Out For Cyclists Arsewipe" onto his retinas, slash his tyres and destroy his paintwork. All in the flash of an eye.

Okeee.

 

[domtyler]

Okeee.

Oh, almost forgot to mention, it would then automatically detach itself from my bike and hunt down the motorists family and friends via the internet and then burn small but very painful holes into them too.

 

[magnatom]

I am in the process of inventing a high powered laser that will sense when a motor vehicle is about to do something to piss me off and then burn "Watch Out For Cyclists Arsewipe" onto his retinas, slash his tyres and destroy his paintwork. All in the flash of an eye.

I hope you have already applied for the patent, otherwise you won't make a penny, as I could quite quickly get my magnatom helmet camera factory in China to change it's production line to produce cheap replicas of your system.


Mwhaa ha ha ha haaaaa!

 

[domtyler]

I hope you have already applied for the patent, otherwise you won't make a penny, as I could quite quickly get my magnatom helmet camera factory in China to change it's production line to produce cheap replicas of your system.


Mwhaa ha ha ha haaaaa!

I have friends in China who will burn factories to the ground for a pound of grapes and a copy of July's Razzle.

 

[Nigeyy]

Wow, that's really mellow. I applaud your mellowness and creativity.

I might be tempted to have something spelled out along the lines of "If you can read this, you're too f**king close".

I'm thinking of getting (not a fantasy, really am thinking about it) one of those toy windmill things and placing it on apole at the bike of the bike, somewhere above head height (when I'm sitting on the bike).
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Except on the bike I'd have it spelling out:

"Peace and Love." And maybe have another one next to it spelling out "Hate and War."

 

[ColinJ]

I am in the process of inventing a high powered laser that will sense when a motor vehicle is about to do something to piss me off and then burn "Watch Out For Cyclists Arsewipe" onto his retinas, slash his tyres and destroy his paintwork. All in the flash of an eye.

Understandable sentiments, but unfortunately you will then be pursued by a heavy fast-moving metal object in poor running order, with a blind person in control of it !

Actually... that's not much different to the usual situation is it ?

 

[Riding in Circles]

Oh, almost forgot to mention, it would then automatically detach itself from my bike and hunt down the motorists family and friends via the internet and then burn small but very painful holes into them too.

You're off your meds aren't you?

 

[tdr1nka]

I've always wanted to have a roll of vinyl stickers on my handle bars ready to slap on car/van/truck/bus or Taxi being driven dangerously.

These stickers would read in large letters; 'KEEP YOUR DISTANCE - I DRIVE LIKE A MORON!' and be adhered with such fiendishly strong glue it will take the paint off down to the metal in the process of removal.

Nitromors in a water pistol is another fave!

 

[domtyler]

Black gloss paint in a water pistol, straight onto the windscreen, on go the wipers.... "Whoaa effin, can't see shoot, fuggin bustard...etc." screeeeeaaaach BANG.

 

[frog]

"Whoaa effin, can't see shoot, fuggin bustard...etc." screeeeeaaaach BANG.

They do that already without the need for any black paint

 

[summerdays]

I've always wanted to have a roll of vinyl stickers on my handle bars ready to slap on car/van/truck/bus or Taxi being driven dangerously.

These stickers would read in large letters; 'KEEP YOUR DISTANCE - I DRIVE LIKE A MORON!' and be adhered with such fiendishly strong glue it will take the paint off down to the metal in the process of removal.

Nitromors in a water pistol is another fave!

I like the idea of the stickers but in reality I wouldn't get the chance to slap it on the car before it had gone past.

It is certainly one way to relieve the stress of the moment trying to imagine what you would do to the idiot in the car who has just driven too close.