Getting slightly creeped out by something

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Does this sound creepy to you?

A while ago I appeared on TV as part of a midlands today set of mini reports on the surveillance society. In one of the mini reports featured me as a talking head, and in another section a company which designs and sells unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs).

Blokey from the UAV company has emailed me several times since, offering various things, but each of them involves a suggestion to meet up with me. Could he come to one of my lectures and demo his product? Could he come to my place of work and demo the product? etc. It's completely obvious from how I have described my line of work that I am not going to buy a load of UAVs. Moreover I don't lecture. Now he has just emailed suggesting that he wants to meet up with me to discuss some industry developments he has heard of. Every communication from him comes with an unnecessary suggestion to meet up. He could just give me a call, for example. My phone number is on my email signature.

It's starting to creep me out. He's an invaluable contact and actually I could involve him in future events I am organizing, but it's starting to feel weird. I have been polite but firm so far...!

Nobody needs to reply to this thread but I posted it because I'm feeling quite odd right now.
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
From what you say, seems like he fancies you and is looking for an excuse to try to meet up and see if he can steer his "unmanned vehicle" your way, if you get my drift...

In his enthusiasm, he hasn't twigged that you don't lecture...

If he's an invaluable contact, then it could be difficult to tell him to get lost, but perhaps you should... :biggrin:
 

swee'pea99

Legendary Member
Dare I state the obvious? Sounds to me like he fancies you. All a bit sordid IMO, and if you're finding it creepy and you've been polite but firm, maybe it's time to adjust the volume a bit on both counts, and if he still doesn't get the message, contact the company.
 

Flying_Monkey

Recyclist
Location
Odawa
It's one of the reason many, particularly female, academics who do not have photos on their homepages... unfortunately there are rather too many people like this. Men tend not to mind the attention of the odd so much or feel so threatened by it - I've had women send me all sorts of odd message including a student from the States who briefly bombarded me with semi-naked photos and details of her life.

I suggest you just tell him categorically that you are not interested in meeting him and if he persists just notify the police and keep a record of his messages.
 

Maz

Guru
Unusual and a bit creepy. I think I'd keep it sweet and ask him to contact you only by phone/email in the first instance. If you do later meet up, take someone with you so he doesn't get nasty or whatever.
 

yello

Guest
Give the guy a break. So he fancies you and is trying to get a date (are they still called that?!) - is that so wrong? He's just going about it in a very cowardly way (it IS difficult for some blokes to ask outright - me included) and it's that that's creepy. He might be an okay bloke...

Bottom line is, it's unrequited attention. It's going to be a difficult email to write Kirstie, but I suggest you respond quite firmly stating that you're not interested in meeting him socially but value him as a business/industry contact. Don't mess around with your wording, maybe begin by apologising if you've got it wrong, but just firmly nip it in the bud, kill it dead in the water, whatever the cliché is! If he's a decent bloke, then he'll get his head around that.
 

Flying_Monkey

Recyclist
Location
Odawa
yello said:
If he's a decent bloke, then he'll get his head around that.

Which is exactly why I suggested the same thing. That could be all you need to do. I hope.

There's quite a lot of blokes who just lack the social skills or empathy to understand what seems disturbing to women.
 

bonj2

Guest
Like others have said, it's clear he wants to mount a close-range surveillance operation on you.
 
yello said:
Bottom line is, it's unrequited attention. It's going to be a difficult email to write Kirstie, but I suggest you respond quite firmly stating that you're not interested in meeting him socially but value him as a business/industry contact. Don't mess around with your wording, maybe begin by apologising if you've got it wrong, but just firmly nip it in the bud, kill it dead in the water, whatever the cliché is! If he's a decent bloke, then he'll get his head around that.


So I'm not being paranoid and oversensitive. Well, that's useful to know.

That's what I've done. I have refused to 'meet up to talk about' anything he suggested and on the terms he has suggested them. I have asked for any written information he has instead. I have also reinforced the 'you are a useful business contact' line as well. But as usual I have been too nice, going by what you are all saying.
 

gavintc

Guru
Location
Southsea
I am with Yello, if you also fancied him and were available, your take on this would be quite different. He is scoping you out without being bold. I suggest that the ball is now in your court and he needs a suitable reply - as Yello has suggested.
 

Globalti

Legendary Member
Sometimes people's ideas of what's acceptable and what's not can get a bit distorted. You need to find a firm way of making it clear that he needs to move on. Admittedly it is irritating, I got bothered regularly by an older (married) woman at work until I lost my temper one day and snapped at her to get her hands off me - relations have been strictly business since then!

Only yesterday my wife was telling me about a couple of simliar experiences she had when she was single - on one occasion a buyer from one of her customers drove half way across the Midlands late at night and turned up on her doorstep. She should have had a distress signal agreed with her neighbours, like a light left on in a window or something.

Now, where did I leave my address book? Got some calls to make this weekend....
 

jack the lad

Well-Known Member
Your profile on here says "Kirstie hasn't made any friends yet" (Everyone say Aaah) - perhaps this is your big chance!
 

Flying_Monkey

Recyclist
Location
Odawa
jack the lad said:
Your profile on here says "Kirstie hasn't made any friends yet" (Everyone say Aaah) - perhaps this is your big chance!

I've never even noticed that feature before! I hope Kirstie isn't creeped out by my request... :biggrin:
 
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