Has Anyone Seen My........

[threebikesmcginty]

....Knife. I put it down and now I can't find the ruddy thing?

How am I going to get into this orange?

 

[dan_bo]

I just peel 'em with me teef.

 

[dan_bo]

Saw it open with your outer chainring?

 

[jnb]

Just make sarcastic and derogatory comments about how feeble a fruit it is and how much anyone of sense would far prefer an apple. This is known as taking the pith.

 

[Haitch]

Jenny took it, said she'd already spoken to you about it.

 

[Arch]

How am I going to get into this orange?

Use your thumbs man, what are you, a man or a jellyfish?

Alternatively, I favour Uncle Mort's flint blade idea. It's quite easy to knock off a nice sharp microlith that will do the job. Just need a nice lump of flint.

Actually, a bit of slate would do it too.

 

[Greedo]

Given some of the punters on here I'd check your back!!!!!!!!!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

What about getting Norman Tebbit to headbutt it?

Phoned him but he's out on his bike!

Use your thumbs man, what are you, a man or a jellyfish?

Use my thumbs!!!! - I thought we'd evolved from all that nonsense, I like like to hack my fruit with a blade - we're not savages you know!!

 

[Arch]

Use my thumbs!!!! - I thought we'd evolved from all that nonsense, I like like to hack my fruit with a blade - we're not savages you know!!

Nah, if you were really unevolved, you'd just eat it, peel and all.

 

[Speicher]

....Knife. I put it down and now I can't find the ruddy thing?

How am I going to get into this orange?

It's in the top drawer with your keys.

 

[ComedyPilot]

Just go back to where you last used it, and retrace your steps....?

 

[Lisa21]

I can make a little elephant out of peeling an orange... peel two bits out for eyes, two bigger bits at the sides leaving a part attatched and open them out to make ears, and carefully make a trunk leaving the top bit on.


I guess I need to get out more

 

[tdr1nka]

On top of the fridge?

 

[ComedyPilot]

I can make a little elephant out of peeling an orange... peel two bits out for eyes, two bigger bits at the sides leaving a part attatched and open them out to make ears, and carefully make a trunk leaving the top bit on.


I guess I need to get out more

I can do a brilliant elephant impersonation, using just my trouser pockets and......

 

[Lisa21]

I can do a brilliant elephant impersonation, using just my trouser pockets and......