Hit by a dead fish...

[Noodley]

On my way home tonight I was hit in the back by a dead fish thrown from a passing van (yes, it is sore...)

I have phoned the Police and they have promised to cast their net wide. The cop I spoke to on the phone (who I know) asked me on what scale I would plaice my injury, and I replied "it'll 'eel". He then cautioned that I should not seek revenge and rise to the bait. "But they did it on porpoise" I objected....

I need more fish gags for my statement...

 

[Dayvo]

Stop bloody carping on, Noodley!

 

[Dayvo]

You talk pollocks, at times.

 

[Dayvo]

Were they chavs or pikeys?

 

[Dayvo]

It wasn't them in the van; that was just a red herring.

 

[Noodley]

They'll be ****ing dead chavs or pikeys if I "catch" up with them...

 

[Dayvo]

*bad enough for you?*

 

[tdr1nka]

Noodley, you sound very tench and need to relax a minnow.

What in Cod's name did that shrimp think he was doing, he'll Roe the day he crossed sword fishes with you! Did you do anything that might have White Baited him?

Funny how you can go for months, marlin, mile out without an incident like this, so Noodley don't be Koy, I'm sure you're Breaming with ideas to help the Police find ways to S'cuttle Fish' assaults, like this, on innocent members of the public. Show them you're no small Fry!

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

I think this whole episode stinks.

 

[Noodley]

...help the Police find ways to S'cuttle Fish' assaults, like this, on innocent members of the public. Show them you're no small Fry!

My sole in-tench is to knock seven shades of shite out of the little ****ers to help...

 

[Kirstie]

You were lucky. Had you crashed you'd have gone skating across the road on your bum, and probably would have had to go to hospital to see a sturgeon about your injuries. I'm surprised you didn't stop and snapper at them myself. The whole scenario would have made me really crabby.

 

[Noodley]

I now have a shark pain in my back mussels...

 

[Dayvo]

You'll have to shell out for some treatment!

 

[Speicher]

Is there any damage to the bike, will it need repainting, in which case it should look fine and slinker.

 

[Dayvo]

Hope you didn't damage your rod, Noodley!