I vaguely recall hearing a tale many years earlier. Concerned a friend of a friend. Not funny. This was a young couple with two small kids, went to have lunch with a relative (I think it was the dad's sister or something like that). Anyway, they'd phoned the day before to confirm, no reply, decided to go anyway. No answer to the door: luckily the husband told his wife to take the kids and wait in the car. Then he broke down the door. His sister was hanging in the stairwell. She'd been there over a week. OK, not five years, but very nasty all the same. Suicide, coroner's verdict.