Idle fat gits and full beam headlights

[ComedyPilot]

On my 20 mile round trip to the local video shop I saw something I just HAD to comment on. I'd just nicely got to the video shop and a car pulled up outside the door (as close as possible, on double yellows and on the approach to a mini RA). Mr & Mrs Lardarse-Tracksuitbottoms got out and waddled into the shop. As I was being served the assistant asked if I'd biked far, I said it would be a 20 mile round trip, and I couldn't resist having a pop about people being idle and parking on double yellows. The people were then being served by another assistant and complained that they'd driven 1/2 mile from a local estate to get a DVD that wasn't left in stock.

On the way home some pillock decided the best way to help me see was to drive AT ME on a narrow country lane with full headlights on. I stopped and they had to pull onto the verge to get round me.

"What yer stopped there for?" The driver mouthed.

"Well unfortunately, because some idiot doesn't understand how blinding full beam headlights are, I had to stop because I couldn't see anything"

"oh,......mumble, mumble" drives off.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

..they are all self-gratification artists I tell you!

 

[PaulB]

There are times when violence is entirely justified.

 

[Aperitif]

There are times when violence is entirely justified.

That's $hit - and offensive.
Have a nice day - if you cheer up!

 

[ComedyPilot]

No violence needed, just stood my ground and made sure the idiot knew why he had to avoid me. BTW I was unclipped and could have easily moved out of his way, but that would not have got the message across quite as well, would it?

 

[ufkacbln]

Just think of it as Darwinian.

He's probably too fat and too stupid to manage procreation!

What .... travel across to your side ofthe bed for sex......

 

[ComedyPilot]

I think he was in the 'I pay road tax, so move over' category.

 

[ColinJ]

On the way home some pillock decided the best way to help me see was to drive AT ME on a narrow country lane with full headlights on.

I had that done to me a couple of years ago as I rode down a steepish little hill in the dark. It was a narrow lane, just wide enough for a car to pass a bike going in the other direction. I had a head torch on plus a bright LED front light so I know that I was easily visible. I was descending with caution, when suddenly a big 4x4 came round the bend ahead of me with two pairs of headlights on full-beam. I tilted my front light forwards and looked down to avoid dazzling the driver with my headtorch, but there was no response from the driver. I was blinded and had to brake to a standstill because I could see nothing but those damn lights.

So there I was standing astride my bike in the middle of the road waiting for the idiot driver to dip his/her lights. No chance. The vehicle continued towards me and I was forced to stare down at my feet to save what was left of my eyesight. Eventually it stopped about 10 metres in front of me. Time passed, slowly... I shut my eyes and looked up so that my headtorch beam was shining in the drivers eyes, then I flicked the beam down to my left to signal him/her to dip. No response. I did it again three times. No response. This was obviously too difficult a concept to grasp so I held my hands out in front of my face with my hands shielding my eyes. No response. In the end I pointed at my lips and speaking very slowly mouthed the words "DIP - YOUR - BLOODY - LIGHTS - MORON!"*** The lights dipped...

I remounted and rode slowly past the 4x4, glaring in at the driver as I passed. He/she (can't remember which) refused to look at me and stared down at the dashboard instead.

Isn't it about time an IQ assessment is included in the driving test? People like that are too stupid (or selfish) to be allowed on the roads !


*** PS It felt good to let off steam, but for all I knew there might have been 5 homicidal lunatics in the 4x4. I could have got a right good kicking or might even have been mowed down where I stood. It's probably better to try and stay polite even in the face of extreme provocation!

 

[Mr Phoebus]

They must have been in a real rush to get home for their Dickhead Tonight.

 

[wafflycat]

They must have been in a real rush to get home for their Dickhead Tonight.

Oh that is rather good

 

[Mr Phoebus]

Oh that is rather good

I know what I'll be singing now when some Muppet crosses swords with me on the highway.

 

[wafflycat]

On a slightly more serious note, I've found having an LED light on me lid when cycling at night has proved to be an exceptionally effective aid at getting on-coming traffic to dip headlights sooner rather than later.

 

[Dayvo]

That's $hit - and offensive.

 

[HLaB]

On a slightly more serious note, I've found having an LED light on me lid when cycling at night has proved to be an exceptionally effective aid at getting on-coming traffic to dip headlights sooner rather than later.

I quite often have a cateye 410 on my lid and yes it does tend to get cars to dip their lightss a bit faster. However as its for seeing and not being seen its points in my direction of travel and I would have to look directly at some idiots full beams to get them to notice . I find more effective my cateye 510 its single LED is aimed directly at drivers .