I'm back, and I almost belong!

[LabRatt]

[This seems to be the way I go with forums - I can't read everything so I eventually stop bothering to turn up at all. Must get over that...]

OK, so some of you might remember my situation (girlfriend who's convinced that I'll die if I cycle on the road) but I thought I'd share this: that's changed.

Anyone who watches the rubbish I stick up youtube will have noticed a few new cycling clips. There's a short story behind that: Lauren (the other half) came to the realisation that by insisting I not cycle she was denying me something I really wanted to do, and that regular cycling would help with that healthy lifestyle/more exercise thing she kept bugging me with. She didn't tell me that, she bought me stuff instead.

For christmas she bought me a handlebar mirror (useless as it's for flat bars and my bike has drops, but the thought was there) and a set of Ortlieb panniers, saying that they were well reviewed and I could ride through the rain and find my work clothes still dry at the end of my journey. That's what she bought me. What she gave me, by implication, was much more important:

Permission to ride

I'm still taking it at her speed, making sure she's comfortable, but now I'm riding. Just a little bit. There's no way I can handle the commute to work yet (I'm on one side of Crystal Palace, work's on the other), but I'll get there. For now I'm doing the shopping and riding to and from the station (when I go to town) and trying to build up my fitness to outside the embarrassment threshold. I will ride to work one day though, and one day soon.

My most recent proud achievement - riding home from the station on Monday night (just over a mile and a half) in about six minutes without stopping for a breather!

 

[Spinney]

 

[LabRatt]

I forgot to mention the thought I had the other day. Now I've put mudguards and a rack on my nice lightweight Felt I thought "You know, I could do with another dedicated road bike that doesn't have this stuff on it."

Yes, I'm infected with the "N+1" bug.

 

[brokenflipflop]

Herne Hill ?

 

[blazed]

Permission to ride? Making sure she's comfortable? I fear for your health but not because I think you might get run over on the road. MAN UP.

 

[LabRatt]

Herne Hill ?

Nearly. Work's in Dulwich, home's in Anerley, and the station I rode home from on Monday was Penge East.

Permission to ride? Making sure she's comfortable? I fear for your health but not because I think you might get run over on the road. MAN UP.

I've gone into the background in as much detail as is appropriate elsewhere. OK, permission was probably the wrong word to use. Approval or acceptance maybe. Not riding on the roads previously has nothing to do with not being a man, and everything to do with respect, understanding, and consideration.

Unless you consider those to be unmanly traits...

 

[Arjimlad]

I was not privy to earlier threads but this sounds very good and I hope you continue to enjoy your riding - and your relationship.

 

[srw]

I've gone into the background in as much detail as is appropriate elsewhere. OK, permission was probably the wrong word to use. Approval or acceptance maybe. Not riding on the roads previously has nothing to do with not being a man, and everything to do with respect, understanding, and consideration.

Unless you consider those to be unmanly traits...

Quite a lot on here seem to, unfortunately...

That's a very encouraging story - keep at it.

 

[blazed]

Nearly. Work's in Dulwich, home's in Anerley, and the station I rode home from on Monday was Penge East.



I've gone into the background in as much detail as is appropriate elsewhere. OK, permission was probably the wrong word to use. Approval or acceptance maybe. Not riding on the roads previously has nothing to do with not being a man, and everything to do with respect, understanding, and consideration.

Unless you consider those to be unmanly traits...

I believe it is unmanly to be controlled by a woman.

The only woman that ever controlled me was my grandma, damn bitch had those sweet handmade flapjacks every time I went to see her I had to be nice if I wanted some.

 

[400bhp]

UTT

MTFU

 

[LabRatt]

UTT

MTFU

Silly me, thinking this was one of the respectful corners of the internet. I assumed, wrongly as it turned out, that people who remembered the story would understand and that those who didn't would either accept it as reasonable and significant, or go and look at my earlier posts to find out for themselves. My mistake. I guess I'll have to repeat it, just for you.

The highlights: We've been together for almost ten years. During that time she's been diagnosed bipolar with OCD traits, has had to deal with the loss of three close family members, including the sudden and unexpected death of her stepfather (who'd actually raised her - effectively her dad) about a month into our relationship, and had to watch her mother's decline into dementia at only 50. These and other traumatic experiences, including the cycling accident that left her brother in a coma a year before we met, had left her disaster focussed and afraid of another loss - one more, especially me, could have easily been the final straw leading to a full breakdown or worse. Together we've worked through all of this, to a point where she feels able to give me something she expects and intends for me to use while cycling to work. It's significant.

What kind of "man" would say "up yours, I'm going to do what I like anyway and I don't care how you feel"? I certainly know what I'd think of him.

 

[brokenflipflop]

Spect is so important to our big smoke cousins

Nearly. Work's in Dulwich, home's in Anerley, and the station I rode home from on Monday was Penge East.



I've gone into the background in as much detail as is appropriate elsewhere. OK, permission was probably the wrong word to use. Approval or acceptance maybe. Not riding on the roads previously has nothing to do with not being a man, and everything to do with respect, understanding, and consideration.

Unless you consider those to be unmanly traits...

"Spect" is so important to our big smoke cousins

Is Herne Hill the capital of Crystal Palace by the way.

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

It won't impress the climbers amongst us but Anerley/Crystal Palace are genuinely bumpy.

 

[Monkspeed]

Well done for persevering with the cycling and with your girlfriend.

Don't let a few inconsiderate comments put you off the general forum which is full of genuinely helpful people. I think they were just jesting a bit but didn't realise the scale of the situation, and now that you've explained it they probably don't feel too clever but of course its difficult to swallow pride and apologize to somebody, that's something only real men can do

Once you train your lungs and heart up a bit, you will find your max distance will significantly increase, limited then by your leg muscles and energy levels.

 

[Muddyfox]

Well done LabRatt ... dont let a few small minded tossers on here get you down im surprised blazed has managed to get back in here he's been banned so many times for being a nob

What the idiots read as control the rest of us read as concern ... keep it up mate "slowly slowly catch ee monkey" she will eventually trust your judgement and be ok about you cycling without the fear of losing another loved one

Foxy