Karma rules

Out on my nightly spin through town, I was having great fun, loving the climbing and the wonderfully polite drivers. Once I had climbed as high as I could, my loop brings me back down a long hill with a set of lights half way, another long descent then speedbumps and much more hectic town centre. Down the hill, right into the speedbump section 55km/h is an easy and safe speed thanks to no side roads and no parked cars.

I reached the tailback of the first set of lights and filtered on the right, quite fast, slowing as I approached the head of the queue. I noticed that the lead car was a chavved up Renault Clio, complete with gaping exhaust and dripping with plastic bodykit, not to mention a spoiler xx(xx(;)

As I was considering the merit of cutting in front of the chavmobile (having had a horrible incident when a chavmobiles occupants tried to push me off my bike the last time I filtered past one). Anyway, the lights changed and I hammered it, seeing that I was going at a fair lick anyway.

I overtook them, easily and perfectly safely but my heart sank when I heard their engine fart its way right up to the redline. They were soon tailgating me with about 30cm between their bumper and my rear wheel, at 55km/h

I was desperately wondering how to escape without getting pushed off or worse, and decided that my best policy was just to light the afterburners and shake them off in the heavy town traffic a little bit further ahead, taking cover in the pedestrian zone if needed.

I hit the first speedbump at full whack, and heard a very loud bang and scrape then a squeel of tyres. When my brain caught up that I wasn't dead, and was in fact still hurtling along I braked a bit and looked over my shoulder to see the chavmobile minus all the front bodykit and with its offside wheel at a very wrong angle, halfway up the curb.

I stopped intending to call the police, but there was no need as 2 coppers were already running to the scene. I went back, gave my statement, went to the police station and filed the dangerous driving complaint.

I hope that something decent happens as a result of this. I was chased for no reason other than chavs are violent, thuggish brutes so frustrated with their sh*tty lives that they feel they must physically impose themselves on the rest of society in a desperate attempt to prove their superiority, achieving nothing but contempt and distrust.


Legendary Member
Ha ha, great story. You insulted their egos by daring to overtake them and then their crappy cut & shut chavmobile collapsed on them. Well done!


Senior Member
Birmingham, UK
Even if the police drop the matter, the damage to their car and the embarrassment will hopefully make them think twice before doing something so silly again. The important thing is you and the bike are ok.

I consider myself lucky that most of my miles are done off-road - say what you like about MTBing, but at least the trees and rocks aren't trying to kill you! :biggrin:


HAHA! :biggrin:
Nice one! :biggrin:

you haven't got a video of it have you :biggrin: (it'd go down an absolute treat on barryboys :biggrin::?:smile:

it'll probably no doubt please you to know that it's a widely known fact that chavs that like barrying up their cars spend ALL of their available money on "up"grades like bodykit, fat 'zorst, and probably some of their parents' aswell, so not only will they be gutted that their precious bodykit is broken, their car is buggered aswell, not to mention the fact that there's a good chance they won't even have had insurance, which means they'll get even more criminal charges - so will hopefully be financially out of pocket AND without car.

I wouldn't have liked to have hit the speedbump at 55kph, but still, glad it didn't affect you aversely.

In fact, thinking about it - could you not go and see if there is any damage to the speedbump? You could give the council details of the incident who could sue the chavs for its repair costs. That would be the icing on the cake!


Married to Night Train
Salford, UK
bonj said:
In fact, thinking about it - could you not go and see if there is any damage to the speedbump? You could give the council details of the incident who could sue the chavs for its repair costs. That would be the icing on the cake!

Now, bonj, that is genius!:biggrin:

Nice one Jacomus... I fear the speed bump would have had me off, so well done!


Senior Member
Jacomus.....BRILLIANT,MADE MY DAY :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:


New Member
Sorry guys, no video at all. Though I did have my mobile on me, it didn't occur to me to get any pics of it. The feeling of satisfaction only set in a bit later, fright and adrenaline were the only things in charge of me at the time.

It has certainly made me re-evalutate how I approach chav mobiles now, I am just going to operate a blanket policy of not passing them. A short delay is preferable to a chase or being pushed off.

Its so sickeningly unfair that cyclists (and other normal people) have to suffer the intimidation and piggishness of this sub section of society. I am going to persue my claim of dangerous driving until I have exhausted every option available to me, as it's the only thing I can do against these morons.


Legendary Member
I'd have thought reckless driving, maybe speeding and why not driving a vehicle in a manner, which causes alarm? Not to mention insurance, MOT etc.
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