Life is strange.

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postman

Legendary Member
Location
,Leeds
Have just replied to the awful loss experienced by Cm.Just this morning i saw my ex wife.We got divorced in 1987.I did not want it.I had to go back and live with my mother i was 38 years old.Lost my children,home everything.Hit the drinking very badly.Till one night so drunk vomited and fell in it.That was the turning point.Got my self back together.Met a girl at the local church and married in 1990.We now have two super girls.I retired early August 2006.Paid off the mortgage all loans and now am a house husband.Health 100% better.My ex is struggling with the after effects of cancer and its treatment today it showed.The feeling of love that rushed through me today was very strange.I wish her no ill feeling.But why did my life change so much for the better and hers change so badly the other way.Or so i see it .And it just shows how bad things eventually turn around.
 
This is turning into quite an emotional day on Cycle Chat.
 

rich p

ridiculous old lush
Location
Brighton
None of it is scripted so to a certain extent you make your own luck and you've managed to make a new life by dint of a strong self belief and probably an element of good fortune that your ex-wife didn't have.
 
though it may be hard to believe at the time, things happen for a reason, which (very) eventually becomes clear...i tell myself this from time to time and it keeps me going when things are hard. i prefer to approach tough times as the kind of things which teach you something valuable. but it's not always easy to see what it is.
 

yenrod

Guest
Posty you dont say what split you up - id say that it shouldnt of happened not withstanding your present wife and kids etc (respect)...

But, yes those things are unusual.

I remember once meeting a girl thru work (yrs ago) - she was pretty something...but then it finished (her say) and I seen here months later and that flash / the sight of her was indescribable...

Prob nowt re: your situ. but still I see what you mean...

I always say Posty: why..never understand why some people do certain things in life - sometimes you've got to do the logical thing sometimes not...but I do know that 2 (people) are better than one...
 
Kirstie said:
it seems amazing to me that you felt this... since you split up, have you seen much of her? can you explain it? no wonder it all feels a bit weird...

It can happen when you develop some compassion for your fellow humans. I didn't have any, then I had to learn some, and now it happens to me too. It usually takes a rock bottom experience of some sort to start it off though, as Postman describes.
 
Twenty Inch said:
It can happen when you develop some compassion for your fellow humans.

Are you insinuating that i am dispassionate about others...? If not, then ignore that last comment. If someone deliberately put me through loads of pain and caused me horrendous loss, I don't think I'd feel pleasantly disposed towards them at all. I acknowledge that that may appear harsh . It is remarkable to me what posty felt and he is a remarkable person in my view
 
Kirstie said:
Are you insinuating that i am dispassionate about others...? If not, then ignore that last comment. If someone deliberately put me through loads of pain and caused me horrendous loss, I don't think I'd feel pleasantly disposed towards them at all. I acknowledge that that may appear harsh . It is remarkable to me what posty felt and he is a remarkable person in my view


No, I realised afterwards that one could infer that from what I wrote. It wasn't my intention at all.

I recognised Posty's post as I went through something similar, which caused huge distress and forced me to really change how I behaved, reacted, dealt with other people. Like Posty I got some spiritual life and started living life differently. When I was on the phone to my ex, years after we had split up, her current chap called on her mobile and I could hear the pleasure and affection in her voice as she answered and told him she'd call back. I was pleased for her that she'd moved on and had that nice stuff in her life.
 
OP
OP
postman

postman

Legendary Member
Location
,Leeds
What split us up. Worked sixty hours a week for nearly nine years.One crap wage made better with well paid overtime.Detached house and four mouths to fill.We just drifted apart nothing left i saw more of my work mates than i did of my family.I was a mug for putting so much into work.Not spoken to her or the girls since the divorce.Tried but got the knock back.As far as they are concerned i am already dead.But i would not wish any bad on them all .
 
postman said:
What split us up. Worked sixty hours a week for nearly nine years.One crap wage made better with well paid overtime.Detached house and four mouths to fill.We just drifted apart nothing left i saw more of my work mates than i did of my family.I was a mug for putting so much into work.Not spoken to her or the girls since the divorce.Tried but got the knock back.As far as they are concerned i am already dead.But i would not wish any bad on them all .

Jeesh that's harsh. All the best postie.
 
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