Monday joke........

[litespeeder]

Two australian businessmen in Brisbane were sitting down for a break in
their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with no
stock and only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is
going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a
curious Japanese tourist walked to the window, had a peek, and in a
thick Japanese accent asked 'What you sell?'

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling ass-holes.'

Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said, 'You doing velly well, only two left!'

 

[Mr Phoebus]

 

[ianrauk]

Another Monday Morning Joke..
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Tottenham Hotspurs

 

[buggi]

here's a good one

HARRODS NEW BOY

A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job
The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?"
The young man answered "Eye, hods, I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle,"
The manager liked the Geordie so he gave him the job.
His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it.
After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked
"OK, so how many sales did you make today?"
The Geordie said "Just the one, Marra."
The manager groaned and continued "Just one?
Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.
How much was the sale for?
£124,237.64" replied the Geordie.
The manager choked and exclaimed £124,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?"
"Well, forst I selt him a smaal fish hook, then a mediumfish hook, and then I selt him a new fishing rod.

I asked him where he was gannin' fishing and he said doon at the coast,
so I telt him he would need a boat,
so we went doon tiv the boat department and I selt him that twin-engined Power Cat.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it,
so I took him doon tiv the carsales and I selt him the 4 x 4 Suzuki".
The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....aguy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?

"Nah, nah......
he came in here to buy a box of tampons
for his lady friend
and I said.........
'Well, since yaweekend's up the spout,
you might as well gan fishin."

​

​

 

[Dayvo]

Nice one, buggi!

Good job it wasn't about Scousers!

 

[yenrod]

Nice one, buggi!

Good job it wasn't about Scousers!

They would have been selling the stolen ones to them ! - outside the shop.

 

[DJ]

You just made me laugh Buggi , and thats not east I tell you

 

[PaulB]

They would have been selling the stolen ones to them ! - outside the shop.

Why's that? It's mancs with the theft problem but don't let facts get in the way of your prejudice, eh?

 

[Aperitif]

Time for this

 

[Crackle]

Time for this

Phew! Keyboard down and relax.

 

[litespeeder]

Blimey I start a joke page and within hours it becomes fighting territory....won't start another again....

Oh and for the record ...I'm a scouser who lived there for my first 27 years...but now from Stockport ...so easy on the banter as I'm on the fence for both places....

 

[Smokin Joe]

How about the Liverpool Irish girl who ended up in hospital after pleasuring herself with a candle? Her pubes caught fire...

 

[alecstilleyedye]

How about the Liverpool Irish girl who ended up in hospital after pleasuring herself with a candle? Her pubes caught fire...

that joke would work with any nationality/regional, except brazilians of course

 

[terry huckle]

Things aren`t going so well in the Japanese banking industry:

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

 

[Dayvo]

Why's that? It's mancs with the theft problem but don't let facts get in the way of your prejudice, eh?

Don't tell us that you're the same PaulB who posted this!?

Oooh...handbaaaag.

You never heard of irony? Where's your sensayumour?