Most pointless certificate, qualification etc etc

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Fnaar, 25 Feb 2008.

  1. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    From the "Qualifications" thread:
    I have a certificate for 1970 South Hertfordshire Catholic Schools Association Sports Day, 2nd place in the Obstacle Race!!
    I also WON the 1985 North London Nurses Swimmimng Association Diving Competition, and the Freestyle comp. I was disqualified from the breastroke for using an inappropriate leg kick :sad: (and have the certs to prove it too!!!) :smile::biggrin:
  2. Cycling Naturalist

    Cycling Naturalist Legendary Member

    Better that than be disqualified for using an inappropriate breast stroke. :smile:
  3. Disgruntled Goat

    Disgruntled Goat New Member

    I came second in the Mansfield Schools Under 11s Solo Poetry Recital Competition - or something.

    Something to be proud of maybe? Well yes except the kid who won missed out a whole verse. But he was a posho so was destined to win. Been shaving down that chip on my shoulder ever since.

    Plus I never received my certificate.
  4. Dayvo

    Dayvo Just passin' through

    Got a purple bit of cloth for managing 'three strokes' at junior school in the swimming pool (and no, Patrick, not in the headmaster's study! :smile:)
  5. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    I had a go at Dwyle Flunking at the Suffolk Show. For some strange reason I don't recall the result or whether I won anything.
  6. ChrisKH

    ChrisKH Veteran

    Pretty pointless now, but I have my South Essex Schools 1st Place medal for the under 17's Hammer event. I threw 58 metres something and wasn't expected to win. Unfortunately the favourite - from the same school (I was ranked 2nd in the school) - got a stomach bug that day and he was chucking up between throws and didn't perform as expected (snigger). I came a cropper in the Essex Schools as the National Hammer coach was there with his son whom he coached. 89 metres winning throw. He threw it so far they didn't have a tape measure long enough and the grass hadn't been cut beyond 70 metres and the hammer kept getting lost. I didn't even get ranked. Second place was a 'boy' who must have weighed 17 stone, all muscle and he started shaving when he was two.
  7. HJ

    HJ Cycling in Scotland

    Auld Reekie
    A surprising number of people have driving licenses, why when they clearly don't know how to drive...
  8. trustysteed

    trustysteed Guest

    my cub scout 'home' badge. had to successfully make a bed and boil some potatoes. what was that about.

    needless to say i didn't make it to scouts....
  9. English Speaking Board exam - can't remember the level - had to do it at school and it was completely pointless.
  10. purpleR

    purpleR Senior Member

    My dog won 2nd place in a Dog with the Waggiest Tail competition (there were four entrants as I recall). She had the waggiest tail really, it was a travesty.
  11. trustysteed

    trustysteed Guest

    you had a dog whose tail went out with a footballer and behaved badly in niteclubs? ;)
  12. Fab Foodie

    Fab Foodie hanging-on in quiet desperation ...

    Me too!
    What the hell was that about?
  13. Blue

    Blue Legendary Member

    N Ireland
    A work colleague and myself were once given framed certificates for simply 'attending' an advanced driving skills course. My colleague put his on the wall of his office and couldn't understand why I took the certificate out of my frame, binned it, and replaced it with a photo of my family.

    I simply don't understand the awarding of certificates for merely 'attending'.
  14. bonj2

    bonj2 Guest

  15. Blue

    Blue Legendary Member

    N Ireland
    I wondered if anyone would pick-up on my last line. I was going to mention 'A' levels etc myself but didn't want to start a bun-fight ;)
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