Most pointless certificate, qualification etc etc

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
From the "Qualifications" thread:
betty swollocks said:
Just remembered: Amongst my other accomplishments: I won the sack race (and still have the medal) in The British Forces Germany Schools' Athletics Championship in 1965.
I have a certificate for 1970 South Hertfordshire Catholic Schools Association Sports Day, 2nd place in the Obstacle Race!!
I also WON the 1985 North London Nurses Swimmimng Association Diving Competition, and the Freestyle comp. I was disqualified from the breastroke for using an inappropriate leg kick :sad: (and have the certs to prove it too!!!) :smile::biggrin:
 

Cycling Naturalist

Legendary Member
Location
Llangollen
Fnaar said:
I was disqualified from the breastroke for using an inappropriate leg kick :sad: (and have the certs to prove it too!!!) :sad::biggrin:
Better that than be disqualified for using an inappropriate breast stroke. :smile:
 
I came second in the Mansfield Schools Under 11s Solo Poetry Recital Competition - or something.

Something to be proud of maybe? Well yes except the kid who won missed out a whole verse. But he was a posho so was destined to win. Been shaving down that chip on my shoulder ever since.

Plus I never received my certificate.
 

Dayvo

Just passin' through
Location
oSLo
Got a purple bit of cloth for managing 'three strokes' at junior school in the swimming pool (and no, Patrick, not in the headmaster's study! :smile:)
 

ChrisKH

Veteran
Location
Essex
Pretty pointless now, but I have my South Essex Schools 1st Place medal for the under 17's Hammer event. I threw 58 metres something and wasn't expected to win. Unfortunately the favourite - from the same school (I was ranked 2nd in the school) - got a stomach bug that day and he was chucking up between throws and didn't perform as expected (snigger). I came a cropper in the Essex Schools as the National Hammer coach was there with his son whom he coached. 89 metres winning throw. He threw it so far they didn't have a tape measure long enough and the grass hadn't been cut beyond 70 metres and the hammer kept getting lost. I didn't even get ranked. Second place was a 'boy' who must have weighed 17 stone, all muscle and he started shaving when he was two.
 
my cub scout 'home' badge. had to successfully make a bed and boil some potatoes. what was that about.

needless to say i didn't make it to scouts....
 
English Speaking Board exam - can't remember the level - had to do it at school and it was completely pointless.
 

purpleR

Veteran
Location
Edinburgh
My dog won 2nd place in a Dog with the Waggiest Tail competition (there were four entrants as I recall). She had the waggiest tail really, it was a travesty.
 
purpleR said:
My dog won 2nd place in a Dog with the Waggiest Tail competition (there were four entrants as I recall). She had the waggiest tail really, it was a travesty.
you had a dog whose tail went out with a footballer and behaved badly in niteclubs? ;)
 

Blue

Legendary Member
Location
N Ireland
A work colleague and myself were once given framed certificates for simply 'attending' an advanced driving skills course. My colleague put his on the wall of his office and couldn't understand why I took the certificate out of my frame, binned it, and replaced it with a photo of my family.

I simply don't understand the awarding of certificates for merely 'attending'.
 
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