Ok just imagine.

[postman]

Ok just imagine you are left on your own.It's been a few years and you want to start going out again.You get up the courage to put a lonely hearts ad in the local paper.What do you say about yourself.
I have just thought of this so mine is not ready yet.So go on let's have it.

 

[TVC]

Heres me: Grumpy, not very fit, not much hair and no job.

Any takers?

You had me at grumpy.

 

[Red Light]

Heres me: Grumpy, not very fit, not much hair and no job.

Any takers?

Not my type

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

I won't go into details about my reasons, but I wouldn't use a lonely hearts ad.

But if this is just for fun: "Forty-something, fit and active fella seeks lady to go out and explore the world with. No commitments, no expectations, let's just get ourselves out there."

 

[Archie_tect]

Cyclist looking for a woman- must have own teeth [preferably 52 or 40]

 

[Archie_tect]

Cyclist looking for a woman with wooden leg, called Smith.

 

[biggs682]

50 year old , bald headed , own teath with smelly backside and a collection of bike seeks a new lady to love !

 

[postman]

Tallboy,varnish a bit thin.Solid and well built.Old fashioned but still serviceable.Would like to accompany a fine 50's G plan chest of drawers.Condition unimportant.As tender loving care will be applied to same.No ikea furniture to apply.I don't want to replace in a few years.

 

[simon.r]

Hypothetically speaking, I'd go on an internet dating site rather than the local paper, having spent some time looking at the various sites and deciding which one seemed to attract the sort of people I'd want to meet and would write something like this:


I suppose I should say how wonderful I am? Well...I'll be honest instead!

The good points - I'm tall, ok looking ('though I'm never going to win any George Clooney lookalike contests!), reasonably intelligent, reliable, honest and straightforward. I have a decent job which I enjoy most of the time. I have my own teeth / car / house and all that sort of stuff.

The bad points - I can be pedantic and I'm frustratingly logical (so I'm told!) I'm not really a 'believer' in star signs, but I do exhibit most of the characteristics attributed to Virgos - I am that man who makes sure that the labels on the tins of food in my kitchen cupboards are all facing the same way! Of course, I don't see that as a bad point, but you may!

I enjoy the usual stuff - eating out, a pint (or 6!) with mates, watching football ('though I see this more as a social activity than anything, I'm not sports mad), listening to music (anything with a bit of passion, from punk to house - yes, I am too old, but...) I love riding my bicyle and motorbike and I'm happy pottering about in the garage or the garden. I'm not a big TV watcher but I enjoy the odd film.

I have a son at university (he lives with me during the holidays) and a daughter who is nearing the end of secondary education (she validated my answers to most of the questions this site asks!) and who lives with her mum most of the time.

He describes his ideal match thus:

Crikey, where to start? Must have a pulse!

Ideally I suppose an intelligent supermodel would be nice! I'm really struggling to fill this section in, I think I'll have to resort to a list, sorry! In no order of priority my ideal woman would be:

Intelligent
Witty
A great conversationalist (is that a word?)
Not ugly (call me shallow!)
Not fat (and again!)
Confident
Not have too much baggage

But I do live in the real world, so if you consider yourself to be an OK person that'll do for starters!

Hypothetically I reckon that on the right website that'd generate a number of responses within a few minutes and within a week I'd probably meet someone really nice who I'd still be seeing after 2+ years

 

[Archie_tect]

Aw, postie... you old romantic!... that's lovely.
I'm pleased you didn't mention your French Polishing course.

 

[Pigo]

Is there still such a thing as 'lonely hearts' ads in local papers???
From what I've experienced in the world of internet dating you should just be yourself......no sorry - just be somebody else!
Use a picture from way back when you were 10 yrs younger & 10 stone lighter or one of someone else if you're not much of a looker......
Say how many times you go to the gym but multiply it a few times first.....
Make yourself really interesting even though you've watched every episode of Friends five times over in the past year...
oh, & dont forget to forget about any kids you have......or wives for that matter!

 

[Red Light]

Keen cyclist seeks female cycling companion. Please reply with photo of bike.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Keen cyclist seeks female cycling companion. Please reply with photo of bike.

and state size of tires?

 

[rollinstok]

Cyclist seeks mudflaps

 

[furball]

Keen cyclist seeks female cycling companion. Please reply with photo of bike.

Get your bike out of the shed, you've pulled

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