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Porn shops.

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Globalti, 13 Jun 2008.

  1. Globalti

    Globalti Legendary Member

    This site: http://www.tony-bell.co.uk/ has a great story on Pinball section 4 about working in a porn shop. I'll never forget what happened the only time I ever ventured inside one: a girl in our year had her 21st birthday, she was Polish, very Catholic and very innocent but clearly frustrated so we decided to get her a Playgirl magazine. We drew straws and I got the job so off I trotted to the porn shop across the road from the Union building. On my third pass along the pavement I got up the courage to dart inside, where I marched straight up to the seedy-looking bloke at the counter, determined to bluff it out.

    "Have you got Playgirl?" I asked brightly. He sniffed and replied: "Playboy?"

    "Playgirl!" I replied, beginning to think it was already going horribly wrong.

    "Playboy?"

    "Playgirl!"

    "Playboy?"

    "No... PLAYGIRL!"

    He looked me up and down then made a show of checking all the mags wrapped in plastic bags on the shelves. Then he turned round and said: "We haven't got any left... we usually sell those to the girls from the college over the road. You'll find your kinds of magazines in that rack over by the door."

    So, realising it had now gone completely wrong I went obligingly over to look at the rack which was full of stuff like "Please Sir", "Whiplash", "Gay Boys in Bondage" and so on. At that point I turned back to him and said: "Oh it's not for me, it's for a girlfriend!"

    The look on his face told me the conversation wasn't going anywhere so I fled. I eventually got the magazine without much embarrassment at the proper newsagent in the town centre.
     
  2. Mr Pig

    Mr Pig New Member

    Location:
    North Lanarkshire
    I bought a packet of condoms for a friend's 18th birthday and wrapped in about a dozen boxes so that it was a huge present. The party was in a local pub/club, all his family, kids the full moo, and I waited 'till quite late to give him the big box.

    Because it took him so long to open all the boxes, take all the wrapping off, loads of people ended up watching, including his mum, dad, sister etc. His face when he pulled out the packet of condoms was great! :0) Still kept them though.

    Another thing we used to do was go around the supermarket dropping boxes of condoms into the shopping trollies of old couples :0)
     
  3. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    you are a bad bad man, but i like your style :rolleyes:
     
  4. zimzum42

    zimzum42 Legendary Member

    I suffered losing a dare and had to go and buy a copy of big and fat when I was a kid. In full school uniform I managed to get a copy with no fuss, but was then dismayed to find out quite how obese the women were.

    We all had a laugh at it, but then were dismayed to find it under one guy's mattress a week later. He claimed he was jerking to the adverts! likely story....
     
  5. :blush: I haven't looked at that for ages, and it made me laugh...and I've heard it all before. :rolleyes:
     
  6. Mr Pig

    Mr Pig New Member

    Location:
    North Lanarkshire
    We were young, not something I'd do now obviously ;0) My friends were much worse than me though, they did things that I thought were terrible even at the time. I think the worst thing they did was popping tins of Airfix paint through letterboxes with the lid off. I didn't think that was at all funny.