Our local council distributes a magazine every couple of weeks. Mostly it tells us what a wonderful job the mayor and council are doing, and so on. It includes a "Kids' Corner", where there are little features for children. Including a poetry competition. This weeks' prize winning entry is:
Sitting on the carpet
Listening to the teacher
I feel a tickle on my nose
I think it is a booga.
Shall I pick it, lick it,
roll it and flick it,
Or shall I leave it alone?
I look around to see
who’s watching,
“Miss!” A child calls
It’s not me
he’s seen
He just needs to pee.
I carry on and
raise my finger,
I’m nearly halfway there.
“Oh my God!”
A child yells.
“What’s that
awful smell?”
I’m worried but
it’s not me,
Someone’s done a
blower.
Everyone is fussing
This is my chance.
I hold the booga and
pull it out.
I lick it, roll it and
finally flick it.
Oh no, oh dear
It’s landed on my
teacher’s chair.
Now, I thought this was a pretty poor choice, on account of its having very little literary merit, and an emphasis on lavatorial humour. So I emailed the editor of the mag:
I'm writing to express my dismay over the “poem” published in the Kids' Corner in issue 183 of The ******** Mag. For many years ******** has suffered the reputation for having some the worst schools in the country. For as many years generations of dedicated teachers and supportive parents have worked hard to lift the hopes, ideals and aspirations of ********'s young people. In the context of 2012, we are urged to “go for gold”. Gold was not the colour that sprang to mind when I read this particular contribution to the Mag. Young people will only fulfil their potential and make something of their lives if they are challenged and stretched. I would have hoped that The ******** Mag would reward real effort and real achievement. It seems that children are being encouraged to think that work of little merit and dubious content is to be lauded. I hope that the editors of The Mag will be more careful in their choice of exemplars in the future.
To my astonishment, I got a prompt reply:
Dear JamesAC,
Thank you for your email. I'm sorry that you were offended by the content of the Kids' Corner pages in issue 183.
We however felt that the poem did show merit, as well as creativity and personality. Its use of humour, structure and rhythm were more sophisticated than most of the other entries that we receive. Of course, the page and its contents are intended to be lighthearted and entertaining to its target group, the under-11s, not to adults. We hope in some small way to inspire more interest in creative writing in this age group by the inclusion of funny poems, as well as the more earnest submissions that we receive.
Again, we apologise for any offence caused and hope that you continue to read the Newham Mag.
What really worries me is that " ... the poem did show merit ... Its use of humour, structure and rhythm were more sophisticated than most of the other entries that we receive.." In other words, this was the best poem that local children were able to come up with.
Is there any hope?
Do you think the poem "shows merit"?
Answers, please, in rhyming couplets.
Sitting on the carpet
Listening to the teacher
I feel a tickle on my nose
I think it is a booga.
Shall I pick it, lick it,
roll it and flick it,
Or shall I leave it alone?
I look around to see
who’s watching,
“Miss!” A child calls
It’s not me
he’s seen
He just needs to pee.
I carry on and
raise my finger,
I’m nearly halfway there.
“Oh my God!”
A child yells.
“What’s that
awful smell?”
I’m worried but
it’s not me,
Someone’s done a
blower.
Everyone is fussing
This is my chance.
I hold the booga and
pull it out.
I lick it, roll it and
finally flick it.
Oh no, oh dear
It’s landed on my
teacher’s chair.
Now, I thought this was a pretty poor choice, on account of its having very little literary merit, and an emphasis on lavatorial humour. So I emailed the editor of the mag:
I'm writing to express my dismay over the “poem” published in the Kids' Corner in issue 183 of The ******** Mag. For many years ******** has suffered the reputation for having some the worst schools in the country. For as many years generations of dedicated teachers and supportive parents have worked hard to lift the hopes, ideals and aspirations of ********'s young people. In the context of 2012, we are urged to “go for gold”. Gold was not the colour that sprang to mind when I read this particular contribution to the Mag. Young people will only fulfil their potential and make something of their lives if they are challenged and stretched. I would have hoped that The ******** Mag would reward real effort and real achievement. It seems that children are being encouraged to think that work of little merit and dubious content is to be lauded. I hope that the editors of The Mag will be more careful in their choice of exemplars in the future.
To my astonishment, I got a prompt reply:
Dear JamesAC,
Thank you for your email. I'm sorry that you were offended by the content of the Kids' Corner pages in issue 183.
We however felt that the poem did show merit, as well as creativity and personality. Its use of humour, structure and rhythm were more sophisticated than most of the other entries that we receive. Of course, the page and its contents are intended to be lighthearted and entertaining to its target group, the under-11s, not to adults. We hope in some small way to inspire more interest in creative writing in this age group by the inclusion of funny poems, as well as the more earnest submissions that we receive.
Again, we apologise for any offence caused and hope that you continue to read the Newham Mag.
What really worries me is that " ... the poem did show merit ... Its use of humour, structure and rhythm were more sophisticated than most of the other entries that we receive.." In other words, this was the best poem that local children were able to come up with.
Is there any hope?
Do you think the poem "shows merit"?
Answers, please, in rhyming couplets.
.
