The diary of a cat

[Matthew_T]

As title says, I am now going to be writing a daily diary of my cat. This thread is for light-hearted use only and I dont expect any comments on anything. If I come across another thread on here which I can see has become an arguement or dispute, then I will refer people to this thread to cheer them up.

 

[Matthew_T]

Day 1: Sunday 3rd June

Lily spent last night outside, unfortunately for her it rained all night and all today. She spent 45 minutes outside Matthew's window attempting to wake my up and let her in, but she was unable to meow loud enough.
After eventually being allowed in, father wrapped Lily in a big fluffy towel which made Lily feel nice and warm. Lily then had a bit to eat and then went to sleep on a chair in Matthew's bedroom for the majority of the day.

At lunch time, Lily awoke and went rustling through the bags of shopping to see if there were any treats for her. Unfortunately not so she opted to pester the family to get some of their cornish pasties. Unfortunately not, because of this, Lily then retired to the downstair window sill for a bit of a kip.

At tea time, Lily enjoyed pestering the whole family for some lamb and just adored the attention she got from being cute and hugging mum's arm. She eventually got given some meat in the kitchen which she really enjoyed.
She then fell asleep on the scratching post besides the dining table whilst waiting for more nibbles. She was then awoken by the aroma of custard which she lapped up.

She then retired to the window sill again where she enjoyed having a full belly.

 

[Lisa21]

Just as a suggestion, but I think it would be far funnier written from her perspective...as if she is writing about her day and not you.

 

[biggs682]

coker our cat seems to spend most of the day asleep , hence why we also call him lazy cat

 

[Globalti]

Hey, Matt, I don't want to pee on your chips but it's already been done:

 

[Matthew_T]

Hey, Matt, I don't want to pee on your chips but it's already been done:

I love that! LMFAOOTF

 

[toroddf]

coker our cat seems to spend most of the day asleep , hence why we also call him lazy cat

No, he/she is not. A cat can sleep for 20 hours to save him/herself for the 4 hours of hunting. Coker is just smart. That is why cats are the second best hunters on this planet. Humans are the best hunters due to their reliance on mechanical things (planes, ships) to bring home the bacon.

If you teach the cat to trust you as the primary hunter in the house (you hunt down whiskas tins at the local supermarket), it will sleep less as it does not have to save so much energy for the hunt. Prove to the cat that you are a good hunter.

 

[biggs682]

toroddf , coker is purely a house cat , in the 5 + years we have had him he has never ever tried to go outside , we tried a couple of times when we first had him , but was not interested at all , so he does trust our hunting skills totally

 

[Rezillo]

Morgan's diary, Saturday 2 June 2012

It is just another day of eating and sleeping when I hear the sound of something being brought into the house that sends a chill along my spine. It is the portable cell that once a year bears me to the Place of Prodding and Needles where I am taken to be told how handsome I am, while having inflicted on me the most dreadful of torments and suffering.

Instantly alert, I make a break for the portal to my numerous outside refuges, the most distant and obscure of which have been set up for just this situation. However, the portal seems to be suffering from some mechanical problem and will not grant me passage. Plan B swings into action and I head for the dark recesses beneath my minions' sleeping platforms.

There is an atmosphere of disquiet and discord in the house. "Where the **** has he gone now? I'll try behind the sofa, you try under the bed". A bag of tasty morsels is rustled and shaken but I am not fooled. Amidst the shoes and dust I become the shoes and dust. It is to no avail as there are no ginger shoes (but much ginger fluff) and I am seen and undone.

Hauled unceremoniously from my lair, I am taken to my doom. Due to an unfortunate miscalculation, my morning toilet means I have nothing left in me to express my usual outrage within the vehicle used for my forcible transportation. I resort to making the kind of noises that could suggest to any passer-by that my captors are slowly strangling me with a set of bagpipes. With any luck, they could be denounced and hauled before the authorities to account for their heinous actions. No-one responds.

I never know why I am taken to this place once a year. All I can deduce from its name is that it is home to people of considerable experience in what they do.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

BigCat would like to ask daddy Matt permission to take Lily out mouse hunting

 

[Matthew_T]

BigCat would like to ask daddy Matt permission to take Lily out mouse hunting

She has got 3 of them after her. A black and white one who is actually a hansome brute and has been in the house a few times, a ginger one who is quite large and meows very loudly, and a plain black one who keeps spraying the back garden. Lily is a bit of a slut really.

 

[Globalti]

"They can't see me..... surely they can't? So why are they laughing.....?"

 

[TVC]

Why do the humans keep calling me a tart?

 

[Matthew_T]

Day 2: Monday 4th June

Lily spent the majority of the day out in the sun. First she went for a little stroll around the local area.

Then she had a bit of a lie down underneath the clothing line.

And then she decided to have a play around on the outdoor table whilst we were sorting out old clothes.

Because of Lily's busy day today, she was really tired by tea time so she had a nice kip on the window sill. She then remained there for the rest of the day.

 

[vernon]

If I come across another thread on here which I can see has become an arguement or dispute, then I will refer people to this thread to cheer them up.

I love your optimism..........