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The story continues.......

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by got-to-get-fit, 20 May 2008.

  1. got-to-get-fit

    got-to-get-fit New Member

    Location:
    Yarm, Cleveland
    Dont think we have had one of these in ages, so i thought i would start one off. All you have to do is continue the story, and leave it open at a suitable spot.



    Putting on my flip flop's i strode manfully out of the 'cafe rouge' i looked at the setting sun and wondered where on earth i would find a loose woman at this time of day. I figured if there was one place i could always rely on it was the 'pink pussy' Tyres screeched as a yellow cab pulled up next to me the window was wound down and a voice from within said "where to?"
    I bent down to get a look at the driver and almost gasped as i caught site of...................................
     
  2. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    Location:
    Thumberland
    His manful beard and pert breasts... something was so very wrong....
    "Come on luv, I ain't got all day... where to? I 'ad that Ann Widdecombe in the back of me cab once..."
     
  3. cisamcgu

    cisamcgu Veteran

    Location:
    Merseyside-ish
    Pulling his mind back to the present, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the attractiveness or otherwise of a London cabbie with whom he may or may not have spent one sweaty night over a year ago. 'A. S. Harris to Geostation 17,' he said into his transgalactic communicator. 'Polar Orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...' But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam FLASHED out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
     
  4. Alan Biles

    Alan Biles Senior Member

    Location:
    Salisbury, England
    He quickly recovered his composure from where it had rolled behind the co-pilot’s seat and took stock of the situation. The controls were shot away; he was shot away and the explosive decompression in the cargo bay had sent the entire cargo of Halfords dual-suspension mountain bikes spiralling down to the surface of the unsuspecting planet below…………….
     
  5. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    Location:
    Thumberland
    ...which turned out to be populated by hirsute cabbies, with pert breasts! :biggrin: Something was really VERY wrong here!
     
  6. cisamcgu

    cisamcgu Veteran

    Location:
    Merseyside-ish
    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The Chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, his obsession with space-craft rather depressing and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question...

    She looked up, startled by the sight of thousands of bicycles plummeting to earth, and shouted ......
     
  7. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    Location:
    Thumberland
    "By the hair on my chinny chin chin, they better not land on my pert breasts! I've just had them done!"
     
  8. cisamcgu

    cisamcgu Veteran

    Location:
    Merseyside-ish
    Fnarr - you have a rather worrying obsession with taxi drivers and their breasts ... have you seen anyone about this ?
     
  9. Fnaar

    Fnaar Smutmaster General

    Location:
    Thumberland
    ;) It's just today... and prb'ly just this thread...
     
  10. cisamcgu

    cisamcgu Veteran

    Location:
    Merseyside-ish

  11. Meanwhile, an old man looked out of the window of the local pub, amazed as a Trek bounced off the window.
     
  12. walker

    walker New Member

    Location:
    Bromley, Kent
    Laurie picked up the trek and Cycled to the nearest farm house, which was 25 miles away, to enquire about the Piglets that were for sale, 'do you have a blue one?' asked Laurie, 'why yes, your in luck, we have a blue pig right here' the Farmer bent down to pick up a small animal, which even though he said it was a pig, was infact a rabbit. 'err, thats a rabbit, and it's brown' 'no its a pig, its blue, its its its' BOING!!! off goes the farmers head, Laurie was being dupped by a robot.....
     
  13. OP
    OP
    got-to-get-fit

    got-to-get-fit New Member

    Location:
    Yarm, Cleveland
    ....ic hamster, the kind that shot first and asked questions later.
    It turned out the hamster was called Reg. It had a chip on its shoulder and an axe to grind. So......said Reg....
     
  14. Gerry Attrick

    Gerry Attrick Lincolnshire Mountain Rescue Consultant

    No, I don't want a faulty hamster that's chipped, I want the blue pig I asked for. You have gotten me here under false pretences and I will report you to....
     
  15. OP
    OP
    got-to-get-fit

    got-to-get-fit New Member

    Location:
    Yarm, Cleveland
    Laurie did not finish his sentance. The hamster had just skewered him through the throat with a pointy stick.
    Falling to the ground, the last thing Laurie saw was a blue pig lapping at the blood pooling around his gaping wound.
    Reg wondered if he would ever be able to control his temper in the way he had managed to control his urge to become a full transexual.

    The sirens in the background snapped Reg out of his daydream and he turned and ran........straight into....