things teenage girls say

[biggs682]

had to give my 18yr old stepdaughter and 2 of her mates a lift on sat night , whilst i was driving ears are always open to listen to gossip etc etc.

one of her mates had those eyelash accessories you can buy that fit on the fr of a cars bonnet along the top of the headlights , the ither girl said why have you taken them off and she replied that due to it being winter it was to windy and they being blown about to much ... but once summer came she would put them back on because it would nt be so windy ...................

 

[asterix]

From my sailing days, I can sympathise. Whilst not prone to wearing false eyelashes at sea, nevertheless the wind definitely seemed to have more weight in it in winter even if the speed was the same.

You probably get the same impression when wearing false eyelashes.

 

[Hover Fly]

Won't the cold winter air have a greater density than warm summer air? I can't be bothered to do the hard sums.

 

[ColinJ]

From my sailing days, I can sympathise. Whilst not prone to wearing false eyelashes at sea, nevertheless the wind definitely seemed to have more weight in it in winter even if the speed was the same.

You probably get the same impression when wearing false eyelashes.

I'm not sure that the car would notice!

I think the 'virtual wind' created by driving the car would swamp any real wind ...

 

[bobg]

At the dinner table with assembled in laws etc ...Daughter then aged 9 ( now 36) " Daaaad, what's a blow job".....

 

[dellzeqq]

'she swallowed three goofballs and put two up her arse'

now.........I must admit that I momentarily thought I'd heard 'golfballs', and, only after rejecting this as improbable in the extreme, did my mind alight on the possibility that 'goofballs' was an item of youth slang that had hitherto escaped me....

still and all - it's not the usual line of Balham restaurant small talk.

 

[Archie_tect]

"Why do squirrels need conversation areas in Centre Parcs?"
"No, it says Conservation Areas."
"Oh...yeah"

Still makes me smile, ten years on.

 

[MontyVeda]

a few weeks ago my boss was watching 'Empire', a doc on the BBC (I think)... he was joined by his 14year old daughter who, after watching a few minutes of old black and white footage asked "Was it really black and white in the olden days?"

 

[swee'pea99]

Out with my eldest and suddenly remembered we had to make another call. She groans: "Oh, that's so extra."

 

[Arch]

Oh good, I can tell this one again...

Each year, the Uni had an auction of the abandoned bikes from campus. I got my Galaxy there. Anyway, one year, I was looking at the stock (mostly very crap BSOs riddled with rust, no brakes, solid chains etc) and spotted a girl and her male friend looking at a reasonable bike. He seemed to be the more knowledgeable of the two. He lifted the bike clear of the ground, and told her to turn the pedals by hand, to check the drive chain. She did, and the rear wheel went round fairly smoothly. He put it down and looked at her and she said "So that's no good then?"
"Why not?"
"The front wheel didn't go round..."

I had to walk away for a bit...

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

At the dinner table with assembled in laws etc ...Daughter then aged 9 ( now 36) " Daaaad, what's a blow job".....

It's what someone working in a glass factory does. Sorted!


Actually, when I worked in childcare, about 99.9% of my collegues were female.
Seriously, I never had to say a word, I just sat and listened to them, because it was

A. A true education

and

B. Half of what they said was absolutely hillarious, particularly about Men, so I couldn't have spoken even if I'd wanted too! If you are ever in that situation, sit by a door so you can quickly leave the room to piss yourself laughing before returning for more comedic genius

 

[bobg]

It's what someone working in a glass factory does. Sorted!


Actually, when I worked in childcare, about 99.9% of my collegues were female.
Seriously, I never had to say a word, I just sat and listened to them, because it was

A. A true education

and

B. Half of what they said was absolutely hillarious, particularly about Men, so I couldn't have spoken even if I'd wanted too! If you are ever in that situation, sit by a door so you can quickly leave the room to piss yourself laughing before returning for more comedic genius

Actually I said the first thing that came into my head " ask your Mother"....

 

[ufkacbln]

At the dinner table with assembled in laws etc ...Daughter then aged 9 ( now 36) " Daaaad, what's a blow job".....

I remember an evening at a friends house having dinner with their with similarly aged son in attendance.

"Daddy - What's a Condom"

"Something men wear"

"Are you wearing one now?

"No- you don't wear them all the time"

"Will you be wearing one later?"




.. at that point my brave attempts to not laugh failed miserably and I had to go outside and collapse!

 

[MattHB]

My fiancées friends came around, who are also jehovahs witnesses. My 3 year old step son, on meeting them for the first time promptly spun around, pulled down is drawers, thrust his bum at them and shouted 'MOOOOONNNIEEEE'!!

 

[Shaun]

She's not quite a teen yet, but in the car, going to Grandad's, having a general discussion about swearing - our 8 year old very casually and matter-of-factly says "F**k is a swear word isn't it?"

It was one of those parental moments when you want to present a stern and serious face but at the same time you're holding back on the most gigantic belly-laugh!!