Toilet

[sticky sherbert]

It's the men's so it's a bit smelly
the rules;
no looking at each other
if you must wash your hands, put fingertips only under the tap for a max of 2 seconds, shake, then get out
leave as much space between each post as room allows
if you must talk do it in a manly voice and call each other "mate"

 

[roadiewill]

 

[Noodley]

Alright mate, bit cold out....<sneaks out squeaky fart>

 

[sticky sherbert]

Look, I spend most of my time in the Beer thread, I need a loo here!

 

[montage]

offering to help zip up their flies while in a very less than sober state at a night club will result in a bleeding nose or an unwanted relationship..

 

[gbb]

Are there rules in the ladies ? Any etiquette ? Do tell

There's apparently none where i work. I am occasionally required to enter the ladies (maintenence purposes you understand ..honest) and they seem to have no problem bursting in while i'm playing with my ballcock, going into the next cubicle and carrying on like i wasnt there
I have to leave...i dont want to hear a lady fart

 

[sticky sherbert]

Are there rules in the ladies ? Any etiquette ? Do tell

There's apparently none where i work. I am occasionally required to enter the ladies (maintenence purposes you understand ..honest) and they seem to have no problem bursting in while i'm playing with my ballcock, going into the next cubicle and carrying on like i wasnt there
I have to leave...i dont want to hear a lady fart

they aint ladies if they do that

 

[alecstilleyedye]

if it was a ladies' they'd be posting two at a time with a mate in the same cubicle

 

[mickle]

zzzzzip

pshhhh

sigh

psh

pooot*

pssssssssssshp

pshp

slappety slap

slap

zzzzip

psh

mutter




poot



trickle

shake

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH



Slam.

 

[mickle]

or

slam

slam

rustle

snif

rustle

flusshh

slam

slam

 

[sticky sherbert]

slappety slap

slap

What the hell are you doing in there!

 

[Dayvo]

Whilst hitching in West Germany many years ago, me and my mate were stranded at an autobahn service station late at night.

Cold, wet and windy, we decided to find somewhere indoors to crash out. The cleanest place was the ladies' bogs!

We had our own cubicle and throughout the night witnessed (audioably-sp?) the most spectacular wind chimes imaginable.

My farts, before and after, just don't compare!

 

[Smokin Joe]

When standing next to someone who is reading the graffiti on the wall, "Whatcha lookin' up there for mate, the joke's in your hand..."

 

[gbb]

You never get good graffiti in toilets nowadays...christ in the 70s the doors and walls of bus station toilets were festooned with toilet poetry, some of it outright crude (i can remember it even now, 40 years later), some of it hilarious.
Whatcha get now ? Some chav scrawl in the walls...they cant even spell proper

 

[mickle]

What the hell are you doing in there!

Billy Conolly reference