Wasp Nest advice

[Fnaar]

There was a young man from Dundee
Who got stung on the nose, by a wasp.
When asked if it hurt,
He said "No, not much"
"It can do it again if it wants".

I got stung on the eyelid once...not very nice.
I'm usually all nice 'n' fluffy to animals, but wasps are the work of Satan, and they all must die.

 

[Globalti]

I always said that come the floods, the wasps and the estate agents should be left out of the ark. They don't seem to fulfil any useful purpose and all they do is irritate people.

 

[Dayvo]

I worked as a beekeeper on a kibbutz 20+ years ago and (to cut a long story short) was stung on each wrist about 40 times (not through choice).
My wrists were wider than my elbows and my fingers puffed up like sausages for a couple of days.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

Bet you were popular with the ladies though.

 

[LordoftheTeapot]

What they said ^^^^^^^^

 

[Jaded]

Thermite.

 

[Cycling Naturalist]

Fecking hell! A suitcase full of angry wasps!

My son got stung on the arm by a wasp a few years ago so I thought I'd try a trick I'd seen in South Africa. I got an old syringe and put the nozzle right over the tiny puncture hole and withdrew the plunger. The white lump disappeared and the pain vanished - seconds later I had one happy little boy and a relieved mum. I was a hero for a few minutes!

Did you use a clean needle?

 

[graham56]

Thermite.

Yep that should get rid of it ,along with your home and all its contents

 

[Globalti]

Patrick, I got an old syringe and put the NOZZLE not the needle over the puncture hole!

It works by sucking out the venom.

 

[Fnaar]

It works by sucking out the venom.

I bet you say that to all the girls!

 

[Jacomus-rides-Gen]

DO NOT do any of the following...

1. Upon discovery of very substantial wasps nest in friends garden grass bank, proceede to kick at football at it. Twice. After doing this and seeing the air go black, you may wish to RUN followed by jumping on your bikes and screaming off down the hill until they stop chasing you. You will both get stung around 20 times during this.
2. Once things have calmed down a couple of hours later, such that you can approach the bank, shove a hosepipe tied to a broom handle down the entrance hole. Hop on your carefully positioned bikes and scream off down the hill until they stop chasing you. Get stung around twice each.
3. Creep back a couple of hours later to find still frantic activity around the nest. Unwind the hosereel well away from the nest and up onto of the bank.
4. Prepare bikes for getaway.
5. Insert lawnmower funnel into your end of the hosepipe, pour 5litres of petrol into said funnel. Get stung a few times.
6. Lay a trail of petrol away from hose to extend the "fuse". Get stung some more.
7. Apply lighter to petrol.
8. RUN LIKE FCUK
9. Attempt to explain to parents why there is a blackened crater in their back garden.

 

[Nortones2]

Wasps kill a number of other insects, so they are hardly useless. I leave them alone unless they are too close for comfort: as in the shower Life cycle illustrated at http://www.keele.ac.uk/university/arboretum/articles/wasps.htm
Rest of campus not quite so grand, but about 800 acres total. Much cross-country when undergrad here!

 

[ajevans]

Best way to get rid of a wasps nest is to approach it naked (so as not to get any mess on your clothes) put a firework banger inside and then swing at 'em with a broom when they come out.

Honest.

 

[Fnaar]

Best way to get rid of a wasps nest is to approach it naked (so as not to get any mess on your clothes) put a firework banger inside and then swing at 'em with a broom when they come out.

Honest.

Yes, I've heard that one too. One modification works on the principle that wasps' behaviour (like most insects) is subject to pheromones. So dip your todger in some sugared water first, and wasps will be attracted to it. However, your male pheromones (not sure if it works for ladies) will ensure that they won't sting you, as they'll think you are the big daddy wasp, and that they should behave. When a swarm forms on your todger, you can just slip them into a bin liner and take them somewhere else. Possibly.