What's your most embarrasing moment?

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XmisterIS

Purveyor of fine nonsense
What's been the most embarrasing accident(s) you've had on a bike?

I have two:

1) I'd just switched from toeclips to cleats --- came to a zebra crossing with loads of pedestrians on it, loads of people on the pavement, plenty of people in the beer garden of the pub opposite ... so I went to pull my foot backwards out of the "toe clip" ... didn't budge ... panicked, let out a little falsetto "uuuh!" scream, slowly fell over while wiggling around trying to pull my foot backwards. Got a round of applause from the people in the pub garden ... the two thoughts going through my head as I was lying on my back trying to disengage myself from the bike were, "christ, that hurt!" and "oh, the shame!".

... note to self: "you have CLEATS!!!!" ....

2) I was riding through the new forest, came to a shallow, wide stream by a campsite, loads of people picnicing on the far bank. Choice between getting off bike and carrying it up steps over footbridge, or try to ford the stream. Everyone else in the group decided to take the bridge ... I thought I'd pull a natty little move ... thought I'd impress all the picnickers with a swanky bunny-hop over the stream ... took a big run-up, booted it towards the stream as fast as poss, just about to hop the bike, front wheel hits a root I hadn't noticed, totally takes me off-guard, back wheel kicks up as front wheel plummets ... face first into stream ... which happens to have a stream-bed that is made of squishy, smelly mud at least four feet deep ... clamber out of stream looking like the bogwoppit while several picnickers have started taking photographs and the rest are grinning and staring.

... note to self: "Cretin!".
 

TheDoctor

Europe Endless
Moderator
Location
The TerrorVortex
Where to begin???
Cycling through a ford with a somewhat smooth, slippery bottom. The ford, not me. The bike went left, I went right and we both went down. Sploosh. My audience, who had sensibly cycled over the little bridge, found this rather amusing, till she remembered I had her mobile in my bar bag. She stopped laughing then.

A major clipless moment on the London - Cambridge ride some years ago. I stopped, I failed to disengage from the pedals, I fell over. Into the nettles. Ouch.
 

ChrisKH

Guru
Location
Essex
Clipless ones mainly. Too embarrassing to divulge. Nearly had one on the last Essex CC ride but managed to get my foot out at the very last moment.:blush:
 
OP
OP
XmisterIS

XmisterIS

Purveyor of fine nonsense
ChrisKH said:
Clipless ones mainly. Too embarrassing to divulge. Nearly had one on the last Essex CC ride but managed to get my foot out at the very last moment.:blush:

Lol! I have just remember one more ... years ago I was wearing a pair of shorts without a "vanity" liner, the leg of the shorts had ridden right up into my crotch, pulled up at lights, realised my cock and balls were hanging out ... and I do mean completely!
 
Location
Rammy
when mountain biking;

was trying to ford across a bit of coniston water (a shallow bay near the head of the lake) and found a larger rock than the rest, lost momentum and couldn't get going (singlespeed so hadn't gone for a nice low gear) and had to get wet feet.

got knocked off by my, at the time girlfriend who was riding alongside me, started to fall and fell into me, in trying to hold herself up on me and me trying to stop her falling I ended up on the floor - yes i forgave her, we're getting married in a month or so

half way round the north face trail in the grizedale forrest, lake district another biker comes round the corner to be faced with my shoulders, butt and the rear half of the bike is poking out of a large bush.
she found it funny and helped me out!


road;

"noooooo" as i ride into and bounce off a police officer's lovely padded vest who hadn't seen me overtaking the slower cyclist - right in the centre of town.
 

Young Un

New Member
Location
Worcestershire
MIne was probably on the CC January ride we had in the midlands - I had two clipless moments:blush: One of which meant i fell onto the rear panniers of two moultons, and at the same time onto RobGuls rear wheel bending his mudguard. Then when we got to the end we pulled in on a deep gravel car park - Trust me to stand there with one foot stil clipped in - we went to move off and the front wheel dug in - yet again I was on the floor:biggrin:
 

betty swollocks

large member
On my 'bent, pedalling imperiously into Paddington Station. Went to unclip and unbeknown to me, one of the cleat screws had fallen out, so cleat rotated and didn't unclip and I tumbled over still attached to machine, amongst a sea of amused and curious and concerned onlookers. While still down, I had to wrestle my shoe off, leaving it still attached to pedal and make my way home like that.

In some local woodland on my Mountainbike, I saw a nice hump and thought I'd accelerate into it for a jump off. Only my front wheel collapsed and folded into the hump and I went over the top cartoon-style and landed in a heap in the middle of a bunch of hikers.
 

fossyant

Ride It Like You Stole It!
Location
South Manchester
TheDoctor said:
Cycling through a ford with a somewhat smooth, slippery bottom. The ford, not me. The bike went left, I went right and we both went down. Sploosh.

Mates did this about halfway through a 90 miler club run - three went in, got half way and all fell off.......how we laughed......... of course then started the bottle fights - one lad got ribena emptied on him....:biggrin:
 

colly

Re member eR
Location
Leeds
Not long after I had started cycling I had a go at the Great Yorkshire Bike Ride out of Wetherby racecourse bound for the coast.

I had signed in and rather than walk my bike to the start line, I decided to ride. It was grassy and a bit down hill. I hopped on went about 10 ft and picked up so much loose cutting and grass on my wheel that it formed a very effective wedge/brake between the wheel and the fork crown. Being clipped in it was just a matter of unclipping I went down like a sack of spuds.

The worse than that though was spending an age trying to prise and dig all the grass and stuff out. It had wedged in so hard in it was really hard to move.

On the route to Filey I had several people come past and make comment about what a good show it was.:biggrin:
 

yenrod

Guest
Splitting my shorts in a race !

Or

Falling over on a main wide road sideways - critically embarrassing as I was in the outside lane as there was a load of cars parked on the left...so not only did you have the front car asking if I was ok but the cars behind it beeping...
 

iLB

Hello there
Location
LONDON
this thread is so funny, i guess mine was in my more inexperienced cycling days a few years ago, taking a right turn and managing to get some enormous pedal strike on the curb opposite- causing me to go flying over the handlebars... right in front of a load of people... ouch
 

TWBNK

Well-Known Member
Location
Wirral
Not quite an accident but embarrassing:

I was getting quite annoyed at one particular set of lights on my route, one lane was for straight on and took me into a pinch point. The other lane was for turning right, when there were cars waiting to turn it made this particular stretch of road rather a squeeze and many many times I had been forced in towards the kerb more than I would like. These lights were at the top of a hill and my normal speed at this point would be about 10 mph, as a result I tended to avoid taking a primary position, but my position led cars to squeeze through.

One day I was coming into work and approaching these lights. A shoulder check only revealed cars approaching the right filter lane. Plenty of time for me to take primary.
'Sod you' I thought as I was holding primary (fairly slowly) through this set of lights. I heard a vehicle approach, listened to the engine tone drop as the vehicle settled in behind me and I thought 'perhaps that's how it should be done'.

Several things then fell into place, oncoming cars were looking at me as if I was the biggest b4stard going. And I started to recognise the sound of the engine, it sounded like the diesel engines that they put in the Mercedes ambulances around here - you kind of get used to it when you drive them for a living. I looked around and there was an ambulance behind me, blue lights flashing and a friend in the drivers seat, waving in recognition as she was 'hurtling' at a full 10mph towards the local hospital with god knows what in the back.
 

accountantpete

Brexiteer
Had to deliver a hedge trimmer and due to roadworks decided to take it on my bike slung across the handlebars with me holding on with both hands to the handlebars/hedgetrimmer.

Right in the middle of town I saw a mate and forgetting what I was doing waved to him - of course the wretched trimmer proceeded to slip from the grasp of my left hand and wedged itself in the front wheel.

There was a lound crunch and I was flung over the handlebars in front of all the shoppers.

The cost was new wheel and forks and a severly dented pride.
 

Fnaar

Smutmaster General
Location
Thumberland
Back in the olden days, when I was about 18, I worked part-time as a cleaner in the local mental hospital, and used to cycle to and from work. Anyways, my front light was held onto the fork with a sort of clamp held in place by nuts/bolts*. Cycling through the hospital one lovely sunny day, the front light slid round into the wheel. Wheel stops dead, rest of bike/me follow right over the top, me landing on my back. Ooyah!

*in retrospect, this seems a very dangerous arrangement!! :evil:
 
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