When you are making a pot of chilli

Greedo

Guest
for tomorrows dinner and at the point where you have just chopped 15 birds eye chillis and thrown them in and your mobile rings. Don't answer it!!!

I did earlier and 2 mins into the conversation to my mate I forgot what I had just done prior to the call and stuck my hand down the front of my shorts for a wee scratch and fondle while wandering about the garden while talking.

Result. Abrupt end to the call and 20 mins of pain. My suggestion for Mrs Greedos help in cooling down the problem fell on deaf ears and had to do with a dunking in cold water in the sink.

The said mate who was on the phone in the meantime had posted the incident on facebook and as a result I've had 17 texts with content if i posted on here would result in a ban :smile:
 
Location
Essex
Anything Mrs Greedos could try to help the cooling down would only take your mind off the problem for a couple of seconds and transfer the problem to her. It will also have forewarned her to sleep in the spare room every time you cook a chili :smile:
 

cookiemonster

Legendary Member
Location
Hong Kong
I used ralgex muscle rub on a calf muscle injury I had and then went for a pee without washing the ralgex off first.

Not a good idea, especially if you have been circumcised. :smile::laugh: That really stung for quite a while.:laugh:
 

TheDoctor

Europe Endless
Moderator
Location
Stevenage
Oh, thanks for that.
What with thinking about Ralgex and chillis, I'm now donning the Marigolds before I go for a wee.
*cringes*
 

TheDoctor

Europe Endless
Moderator
Location
Stevenage
Pffffft!!!!

I'm just trying to imagine what the organ in question would look like covered in yoghurt and wrapped in a chapati :smile:
 

Jane Smart

The Queen
Location
Dunfermline Fife
I was just thinking, had that not happened with the chillis and you had wandered round the garden with your hands down your trousers, would you then have washed your hands before starting to cook again ? :biggrin:
 

Cathryn

Legendary Member
Jane Smart said:
I was just thinking, had that not happened with the chillis and you had wandered round the garden with your hands down your trousers, would you then have washed your hands before starting to cook again ? :biggrin:
Sniggering....
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
In my youth one had to be wary when in the changing rooms at school lest someone had some wintergreen and some pals willing to pinion an unwitting victim while their gonads were smothered in the stuff.
 

goo_mason

Champion barbed-wire hurdler
Location
Leith, Edinburgh
When I played rugby as a teen, we used to slather our bare legs in Deep Heat or Sloan's Liniment before we played any games in the winter. One of my mates was notorious for sticking his hand down his shorts and fondling his bits whilst he was waiting for the ball to come near him, and on more than one occasion he was left in severe pain with an overheated member after not washing his hands or rubbing them on his legs during the game (he was circumcised too).
 

Cathryn

Legendary Member
See, inspired by Greedo, I just made chilli myself and rubbed my nose half way through. Burning nostril and have had to sterilise the baby's bottles again as I made them up whilst cooking and can't risk burning nappies!

Greedo, you have a lot to answer for.
 
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