A pavement parking odyssey

[Drago]

Out for a for a run early this morning with Lemmy. Bottom half of the village is very olde worldly and has narrow footpaths. Sure enough, there's some chump sat in a transit flat bed parked half up on the path.

I try to squeeze by without slowing down, as is my lawful right, but I'm too big and I thump into his mirror as I go past. Transit mirrors are designed to take knocks and I didn't damage it.

I carry on running and Neil Anderthal jumps out of his van and gives a mouthful to my rapidly receding back. I'm not afraid of confrontation, although I don't go seeking it, but I thought I'd have some fun with him.

"You shouldn't park like a ******* **** **** then, you ******" I shouted, as I grinned and waved merrily at him.

Predictably he ran after me, and I carried on. And he ran, and I carried on, and he started to huff and puff as he ran, and I carried on, then he ran out of steam entirely, and I carried on. I jogged another couple of hundred yards and blew him a kiss, and while he became almost Hulk formingly angry at this parting gesture, he had nothing left in the tank to continue his pursuit, so off I went.

That really set me up for the day!

 

[Globalti]

Well done! I'd love to be able to do that.

My late sister had MS and used a motorised wheelchair. On a few occasions when I was out with her, if she found the pavement blocked by parked cars she would steer towards them and scrape her buggy along the paintwork while muttering: "serves 'em f**king right!" I used to watch with a mixture of horrified awe and admiration.

 

[Levo-Lon]

Personally I think cars parked so selfishly should be crushed.
One at the hospital on weds..totally blocked the walkway.
So no one with any form of dissabilty could pass , they would have to go all the way round..

 

[Globalti]

I wish somebody could invent a snatch truck, which could come alongside illegally parked cars and silently remove them in a few seconds without causing any damage, so as to carry them away to a pound. I'm sure it would pay for itself very quickly.

In Pakistan they use a less stealthy method of dealing with illegal parkers:

 

[Drago]

The vehicles should be crushed, and the drivers sent the bill.

A good bit of sport. I'd think twice before doing it to someone who looked like they might be a runner, but Neil Anderthal sat in his cab smoking an Embassy with his pendulous beer gut had zero chance of catching me.

 

[Dave 123]

On our local village Facebook page (hours of fun to be had there) it’s a regular gripe is pavement parking.

Multiple car ownership per household, laziness and not giving a f*** all contribute.

Well done @Drago for being so annoyingly public spirited.

 

[Drago]

Shouting at someone from miles away and legging it doesn't quite fit.

I regard such antics as a sporting endeavour.

 

[Dave 123]

Walking around Cambridge it’s annoying to see how many shattered paving stones there are from delivery vehicles using the pavement.

 

[captain nemo1701]

Out for a for a run early this morning with Lemmy. Bottom half of the village is very olde worldly and has narrow footpaths. Sure enough, there's some chump sat in a transit flat bed parked half up on the path.

I try to squeeze by without slowing down, as is my lawful right, but I'm too big and I thump into his mirror as I go past. Transit mirrors are designed to take knocks and I didn't damage it.

I carry on running and Neil Anderthal jumps out of his van and gives a mouthful to my rapidly receding back. I'm not afraid of confrontation, although I don't go seeking it, but I thought I'd have some fun with him.

"You shouldn't park like a ******* **** **** then, you ******" I shouted, as I grinned and waved merrily at him.

Predictably he ran after me, and I carried on. And he ran, and I carried on, and he started to huff and puff as he ran, and I carried on, then he ran out of steam entirely, and I carried on. I jogged another couple of hundred yards and blew him a kiss, and while he became almost Hulk formingly angry at this parting gesture, he had nothing left in the tank to continue his pursuit, so off I went.

That really set me up for the day!

I just fecked orf with lazy sods who diagonally park at junctions, often on double yellows and half on the pavement. Also those who think they can avoid a fine by parking entirely on the pavement with double yellows on the road. I would have them stripped naked and painted with double yellow lines in public to emphasise what these line are for...no freakin' parking. I would also like to make them eat the highway code.....hardback copy.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I've mentioned this one before when it happened about 2 years ago. There i was walking up a hill when i saw this car parked completely on the pavement. Not only that but also with both wing mirrors out, just to rub salt into the wound. As i walked on the road to pass it i decided to give the mirror a knock,to let the driver know i wasn't pleased with his bad mannered parking. I pushed it forward then walked on. As i got a bit further up the hill i looked back. I then decided that he hadn't been punished enough,so i went back to bend the mirror back completely. I grabbed it with both hands and yanked at it. The bloody thing only came away in my hand! I left it there hanging by the wires and hastily walked away.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Not only pavement parking but grass verge parking,which is even worse to an extent. Nice grass verges cut up by lazy sods who just drive over them or park on them,then leave big unsightly tyre tracks. They even do this in the local cemetery even though the man who works there has put bollards and boulders down to try to protect the turf.

 

[screenman]

I must admit it makes me fume, but I would not stoop to crimina ldamage just to satisfy my frustration.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I've left notes on the windscreen explaining who gets inconvenienced and put in danger (disability scooter drivers, the elderly, mums with prams and young kids) by the offender's parking. Generally that works I think but I haven't done a proper scientific survey mostly because I haven't done it that often.

 

[Drago]

I'm thinking of getting a mask and a cape and becoming an avenging super hero...

The Jogger!

 

[mjr]

Walking around Cambridge it’s annoying to see how many shattered paving stones there are from delivery vehicles using the pavement.

Out here in the countryside, it's scary seeing how many tyre tracks come up across the kerb/verge, along the cycleway for a bit and then back onto the carriageway, usually around where a motorist will be waiting near the centre line to turn right. I hope that most wouldn't do that if anyone was cycling or walking along the cycleway, but an incident a few years back of almost getting sideswiped suggests otherwise

Anyway, it's important that cycleways and footway are constructed to vehicle quality because as well as legitimate use (emergency vehicles, mini-sweepers, lighting repair lifts, ...) cyclists shouldn't be punished by the surfaces being trashed by farking nobber motorists that will drive on anything, sometimes even when they can't physically get out of the other end due to sign/lamp posts: