Ask Unkle Hadron

[THE HADRON COLLIDER]

ACH. I AM FAILING TO DOOM MANKIND. ZE SHAME. ZO, I VILL MAKE NEW CAREER. I AM AVAILABLE TO DEAL VIZ ALL YOUR QUESTIONS. I AM HERE TO HELP YOU UND OFFER TOBLERONE. ASK ME ANYTHING, I VILL NOT JUDGINK YOU.

 

[dan_bo]

My dog needs neutering. I'll give you a tenner if you focus your positron beam and turn his groin into a black hole.

 

[domtyler]

Do you play snooker? If so, do you prefer the pink or the brown?

 

[just jim]

Unkle, I recommend you read "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson.
Apart from that, I have a question. What can hewman kind really hope to gain from smashing little balls together in a big washing machine?

 

[Smeggers]

Can you please tell me a little more about Abbott-Farhi models of composite W and Z vector bosons?

 

[Speicher]

Vy haf yew got ein Berliner as yo avatar?

 

[THE HADRON COLLIDER]

My dog needs neutering. I'll give you a tenner if you focus your positron beam and turn his groin into a black hole.

I AM ZE AGONY UNKLE, NOT ZE VET. IF I AM DOING ZIS HIS GIBBLY BITS VILL BE FALLINK OUT. TIE AN ELASTIC BAND AROUND IT AND IT VILL DROP OFF OF ITS OWN ACCORD.
POSSIBLY.

 

[THE HADRON COLLIDER]

Do you play snooker? If so, do you prefer the pink or the brown?

ZER PINK IS SCORING MORE POINTS BUT I VILL COLLIDE ZEM ALL.

 

[domtyler]

ZER PINK IS SCORING MORE POINTS BUT I VILL COLLIDE ZEM ALL.

You sir, are talking complete and utter cosmic space balls! !

 

[THE HADRON COLLIDER]

Unkle, I recommend you read "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson.
Apart from that, I have a question. What can hewman kind really hope to gain from smashing little balls together in a big washing machine?

ZIS BOOK IS GIVING ME GREAT COMFORT.
IS LIKE BIG GAME OF CONKERS. VE PLAY ZE CONKERS AND HOPE ZAT GOD HAS NOT BAKED HIS IN ZE COSMIC OVEN.

 

[THE HADRON COLLIDER]

Can you please tell me a little more about Abbott-Farhi models of composite W and Z vector bosons?

HOW LITTLE VOULD SATISFY YOU?

 

[THE HADRON COLLIDER]

Vy haf yew got ein Berliner as yo avatar?

IS PRETTY. JUST LIKE YOU LITTLE LADY.

 

[Smeggers]

HOW LITTLE VOULD SATISFY YOU?

Say a 2,000 word report?

 

[THE HADRON COLLIDER]

You sir, are talking complete and utter cosmic space balls! !

ZER PINK IS SCORING 6 POINTS. ZER BLUE IS SCORING 5.
HAFF SOME TOBLERONE AND BE CALMING DOWN MR DOM. PERHAPS YOU ARE NEEDING A NICE BACK RUB?

 

[Tharg2007]

I read the title as "ask uncle hardon", why I clicked on it I dont know!!