CycleChat's cycling twonk of the year

[AndyRM]

That's OK, there's really no need to tell us another one. We'll just assume that every fourth bike ride done be someone with SPDs manages a twonk. (FLAME RETARDANT CLOTHING: ENGAGED)

Easy to do when you first start off clip-less, and I'm not sure that anyone's managed to learn without a 'Clip-less Moment' of some kind! I had a couple in my first week - forgot I was clipped in once, unclipped the wrong foot and confused myself the second time. There is nothing quite like toppling over in slow motion at the head of stationary traffic to provide a cyclist with a humiliating lesson, which only needs taught once or twice. I think the worst part is the undignified wrestle on the ground one endures if not clipped out on both sides.

Still, I got off lightly. A friend of mine realised he didn't have a clue how to clip out and ended up collapsing against his garage door. He was propped there for some time with his family laughing at him as he struggled to get free. He even phoned me asking what to do, which was brilliant.

 

[Donger]

Anybody else ever decided to get in from the cold and change their tyres in the living room? Then over-inflated one of them to exploding point? A "Slime" innertube ? The snotty green splatter pattern defies description. Mrs D My ... erm...friend's wife may never let m ...er ..him forget about it.

 

[fabregas485]

I have cycled to the station before and then got the train to work. On the way home I have got out of the station and jumped straight onto a bus. I got home thinking I may go out for a bike ride and remember I left it parked at the station xD

 

[kevin_cambs_uk]

How about not realising just what rim tape actually does until you change the inner tube 3 times and all exploding!

Scratched my head a few times that day!!!

 

[kevin_cambs_uk]

how about fitting the cycle rack to the car driving 25 miles to the mountain bike trail then realizing you forgot to put the bike on the rack, does that make me a first class twonk

How about forgetting said bike is on the roof and going into a ground level multi story...

Bike was just ripped off the roof ! Luckily there was no one behind me !!!

 

[guitarpete247]

How lucky I felt yesterday. I've been meaning to tweak up the tension on my SPD's on the MTB as I keep slipping out when putting in the extra effort up hill.
Well there I was, Sunday, at the caff and decided I'd nip down to the bank to get a bit of cash out. Cycling down to cash point I unclipped left and stepped over frame then realised I'm on one foot and still clipped in, approaching cash point.

Thank god I've not tweaked up the tension yet.


But my twonk moment was many years ago and freewheeling down Market Weighton Hill when I got a fly in my eye. I was concentrating so much on braking and staying upright that I couldn't work out which eye it was in so closed both and squeezed brakes harder .

 

[paddy01]

Most of mine usually result from a suddenly running out of talent..

Returning to cycling in my 30's and chasing a little whippet from the LBS down some single track I realised (too late as it happens) that I wasn't able to ride like I could when I was 18 and racing cross country... I was still clipped in whilst being helped from my inverted position in the shrubbery.

Mind you that accident itself stung slightly less than the comments from my then fiance when I came home covered in blood like I'd got caught up in a zombie apocalypse 3 weeks before the wedding.. I think it might have been the first time I heard "Aren't you a bit old.."

 

[Stonechat]

The number of times I have forgotten to take a lock with me when I will need it.

This year for the London to Brighton, Mrs Stonechat was heading for the south coast the day before to meet me there.
The last afternoon before she went, I had suitcase packed. Then we decided to visti mum. Took my shoes out of the suitcase
Result, in Brighton had only spd's to wear

 

[slowwww]

That deserves a King Of The Twonks Jersey that.

....I thank you!!

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Old ones, but I present to you....

Taking a cheeky shortcut not knowing what a har har is:


Turning a corner at speed on a very sandy road:

 

[tadpole]

Buy some new glasses, and forgetting they have much thicker arms. Cycling to work a few days later, already a buffing and blowing when out of the corner of my eye I spot a dark shape approaching on my right, thinking it's someone having snuck up on me and about to overtake me, I speed up, nope still there, mash the pedals harder, speed up to my max, and the silent shadow is there. Keep it up for about three miles, before burning legs for me to concede, properly look round to acknowledge the silent speed king, only for there to be no one about.

 

[EltonFrog]

Old ones, but I present to you....

Taking a cheeky shortcut not knowing what a har har is:


Turning a corner at speed on a very sandy road:

Now that is spectacular twonkery. I would have loved to have seen that.

 

[PaulSecteur]

Old ones, but I present to you....

Taking a cheeky shortcut not knowing what a har har is:


Turning a corner at speed on a very sandy road:

Is that second one a Grifter?

Ive never known anyone bend one of those pig iron beasts!

 

[Donger]

Easy to do when you first start off clip-less, and I'm not sure that anyone's managed to learn without a 'Clip-less Moment' of some kind! I had a couple in my first week - forgot I was clipped in once, unclipped the wrong foot and confused myself the second time. There is nothing quite like toppling over in slow motion at the head of stationary traffic to provide a cyclist with a humiliating lesson, which only needs taught once or twice. I think the worst part is the undignified wrestle on the ground one endures if not clipped out on both sides.

Still, I got off lightly. A friend of mine realised he didn't have a clue how to clip out and ended up collapsing against his garage door. He was propped there for some time with his family laughing at him as he struggled to get free. He even phoned me asking what to do, which was brilliant.

That's the one! Give him his award now.

 

[Jon George]

Still, I got off lightly. A friend of mine realised he didn't have a clue how to clip out and ended up collapsing against his garage door. He was propped there for some time with his family laughing at him as he struggled to get free. He even phoned me asking what to do, which was brilliant.

That's the one! Give him his award now.

I'm tempted to agree, but don't you think to take the crown, it has to be a personal admission of such stupendous twonkness (which this friend's escapade most certainly is) that the person admitting it will also have to deal with the image of us all collectively clasping a hand to our mouths while uttering the words 'Oh, dear God. I am so blessed to have been alive on this planet while this twonk also roamed the place'?