Fat people are fat because they don't eat enough

[MessenJah]

My theory is that fat people don't eat enough food. This causes their body to go into 'starvation preparation mode' where basically the body realises that it's not getting enough calories. The body 'thinks' that food has become scarce and will become even scarcer, so it starts preparing for times when there is no food by storing calories consumed now in the form of fat to consume later on.

I am currently applying for funding to scientifically prove my theory that if fat people actually eat more food their bodies will come out of 'starvation preparation mode' and will become thinner. Anyone wishing to participate in my study, PM me for details. The entry fee is £1,200 and this will cover laboratory accommodation and all the food that you will be eating as part of the experiment. You will be part of one of the biggest most significant scientific breakthroughs in the field of nutrition. A small price to pay!

 

[gavintc]

haha haha.

You clearly have not shared an office with a fat person. Eating sweets and similar crap is the sole purpose of living.

 

[wafflycat]

My theory is that fat people don't eat enough food. This causes their body to go into 'starvation preparation mode' where basically the body realises that it's not getting enough calories. The body 'thinks' that food has become scarce and will become even scarcer, so it starts preparing for times when there is no food by storing calories consumed now in the form of fat to consume later on.

I am currently applying for funding to scientifically prove my theory that if fat people actually eat more food their bodies will come out of 'starvation preparation mode' and will become thinner. Anyone wishing to participate in my study, PM me for details. The entry fee is £1,200 and this will cover laboratory accommodation and all the food that you will be eating as part of the experiment. You will be part of one of the biggest most significant scientific breakthroughs in the field of nutrition. A small price to pay!

You're too late - it's already proved that the body goes into 'famine mode' when yo-yo dieting over many years - it's why dieting is bad. Seriously. It's why if you diet and then stop, you put weight back on far faster than before, and then it becomes harder to lose. Been there, done that.

 

[MessenJah]

But the point is that you have the opportunity to be part of an experiment that fatness is inversely proportional to food consumption, for only £1,200!

 

[Speicher]

However, my intelligence is inversely proportional to my disposable income.

 

[LLB]

Is the accommodation a portacabin in a MaccyDs car park ?

 

[bonj2]

how long do I have to do it for to get my £1200?

 

[MessenJah]

1 month

 

[bonj2]

well as long as i can presumably carry on with the day job? then fine.

 

[MessenJah]

Is the accommodation a portacabin in a MaccyDs car park ?

Almost.

 

[buggi]

so if fat people get fat coz they don't eat... what are anorexics all about?

 

[MessenJah]

Anorexics are actually ex-fat people who were eating too much, so their bodies went into hypermetabolism mode. This reaction normally automatically prevents them from getting obese, but they already went on a low calorie diet to become slimmer, and the combination of the diet and the hypermetabolism has made them super-slim.

 

[papercorn2000]

So nothing to do with not eating at all then...

Are you SURE you've thought this through?

 

[wafflycat]

No-one is saying that papercorn, but obesity isn't the simple problem some think it is. It's very complex in the long term.

 

[papercorn2000]

Look, this isn't the place for serious discussion; witticisms, smart-arse remarks and off-the-lip sarcasm should suffice!

Maybe fat people could eat more laxatives, shouldn't that solve their problems?