Give me some dialogue from your day

[jhawk]

Me, talking with a friend on Facebook -- we converse often on political issues and he helps me to see things differently or more clearly.

"I need to talk to you about nuclear weapons."

"Whoa, buy me a drink first, Jesus!"

 

[Crackle]

Me: To the dog who'd just done his business on a steep grass bank " Why the hell do you go here you weird bloody dog" I said, risking my neck crawling down it.
Dog: Looks at me with a look that says, I'm weird, hey I'm not the one collecting poo in a plastic bag. What do you do with all this poo you collect anyway?

 

[swee'pea99]

The 'fast-track' thingy at the swimming pool read my bar code then instead of saying 'yeah, fine', just sat there with the buffering thing going round and round and round and round and....it does this maybe one time in 10. I went over to the desk and used their blip thing: 'Why does it do this?' I said to the woman behind the counter, fraughtly, shall we say. She sighed deeply: 'Because it's as capricious as a child.'

 

[Saluki]

After a couple of close passes, one directly after the other, I stopped my bike in a passing area. Police car pulls in behind me and policeman and police woman get out and ask if I was ok - which was nice of them.
Policeman: are you ok
Me: fine, just rattled a bit
Policewoman: why the hell do they pass like that
Me: because (holds hands 2" apart) they have thought for decades that this is eight inches so assume that (holds hand a foot apart) that this is 1.5m
Policeman:
Policewoman:

 

[gbb]

Me: To the dog who'd just done his business on a steep grass bank " Why the hell do you go here you weird bloody dog" I said, risking my neck crawling down it.
Dog: Looks at me with a look that says, I'm weird, hey I'm not the one collecting poo in a plastic bag. What do you do with all this poo you collect anyway?

I wish mine would just have a poo and be done with it...but no....he'll do some, I bag it, walk on, he decides he wants another....I bag it, we walk on.....oh fer chrissakes I have uttered out loud to him occasionally.

 

[Sandra6]

In between all my hard work I had a moment to stand idling out the window when the bus went passed.
Spotted @Hyslop and waved like a loon - he of course waved back .
Guy I work with - "who's that?"
me - Oh, that's Hyslop, he's my stalker.
guy - ok.
Hyslop you made my day!

 

[Hyslop]

Glad to be of help!I suddenly thought,wonder how things are in Scotby,looked across,and there you were,!
I'm not sure what the rest of the passengers made of me either! I'd love to have seen the look on your colleagues face though, perhaps he thought you simply
waved at random men on buses.
Anyway,if it cheered you up,great, I'll do it again.Mind you, I'm not waving at the rest of them!
Have a good week

 

[Sandra6]

We do a lot of people watching, but not so much random waving.
My favourite is to say to him "see that guy there?" and when he's like "yes?" I just say "I don't know him at all"

 

[Hyslop]

One thing's for sure, when the new crossing opens at the Castle, you'll all get plenty of practice as far as people watching is concerned,the queues will be endless!Maybe you could pop a stall up at the crossing selling teas and coffees,pop over to Carr's and do a deal on the biccies!
If I'm on the bus,I could bring a set of flag's,we should have plenty of time for a conversation in semaphore

 

[Houthakker]

Mrs H to me today - "Are you coming into town with me then?"
Me - "Yes, I'm ready to go"
Mrs H - "You are not going out in those shorts are you? They are Monkey puzzlers!"
Me - ????
Mrs H- "Not Monkey puzzlers, - Budgie smugglers - thats it!

(PS - They really weren't!!)

 

[srw]

Eminent Board Member: "You might have worn a better tie for your last meeting."
Me: "It was lovingly handpainted for me by my wife and is a picture of the iris named after me."
Spiky Colleague: "There's an iris named after you?"
Me: "Yes, it was bred by my mother-in-law."
EBM: "I don't know what to say."
SC: "I don't think there's anything you can say."

After all that, the meeting went off well.

 

[gavgav]

Dialogue heard on radio 2 at lunchtime, whilst a debate was taking place about the current heatwave.

Presenter "and now we are joined by weather's answer to Mystic Meg, Piers Corbyn"

Piers, In a stroppy voice, "I am NOT a Mystic Meg, I'm a qualified Astrophysicist"!!

If he's qualified then doesn't say much for the course!! Don't think he's ever got a forecast right in his life.

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

Me (speaking to my brother about my mum's visit to the doctor): I heard mum eventually went to the docs today and got some medication...
My Brother: Yeh, she got a taxi down and then I got her from the surgery and took her to the chemists for her prescription, she also went to the bakers when she was there
Me: What did she get?
MB: A couple of pies and a rhubarb tart.

 

[gbb]

Svetlana and her colleagues call me across...there was some giggling, they've obviously been talking...
'Colin, how old are you ?'
'59'
'Ada said you were 60...'
'You're in big trouble.' I mockingly said as I looked at Ada.
'You look good for your age' said Svetlana.

Missed opportunities....what my first reply should have been was...
'Old enough to be your dad...so you can get that idea out of your head '

 

[Profpointy]

Dialogue heard on radio 2 at lunchtime, whilst a debate was taking place about the current heatwave.

Presenter "and now we are joined by weather's answer to Mystic Meg, Piers Corbyn"

Piers, In a stroppy voice, "I am NOT a Mystic Meg, I'm a qualified Astrophysicist"!!

If he's qualified then doesn't say much for the course!! Don't think he's ever got a forecast right in his life.

To be fair he didn't claim to be a qualified meteorologist