Kids, eh?

[Globalti]

I know the "guess what my little darling said today" thread is boring for non-parents but here's last night's gem:

10 y.o. son on seeing a condom advert: "Oooh that's disgusting, it shouldn't be allowed!"

Mum: "Er... do you know what a condom is?"

10 y.o.: "Yes, it's to help you snog...."

 

[Shaun]

My 5yr old in the supermarket on seeing a 6' 2" bulking transvestite in the till queue next to ours:

<shout and point> "Dad ... why is that man dressed as a woman?"

 

[summerdays]

Yes I remember my eldest on finding out about the birds and bees: "but that's disgusting ... you wouldn't have on knickers or pyjama's". (This coming from a girl who only a year or two before would run about the garden or beach completely naked).

 

[Mr Pig]

"Dad ... why is that man dressed as a woman?"

Ha ha ha :0) At least it was a man, could've been an ugly woman!

 

[got-to-get-fit]

My 4 year old said to his grandmother, when asked if he had enjoyed her visit ' yes, lovely......its nice when you come and nice when you go'

 

[goo_mason]

Three years ago, my (then 6yr-old) daughter was asking me why I never really had much money. Cue me trying to explain paying off debts to her.

"Have you ever considered consolidating all of your debts into one easy monthly repayment ?", came the considered reply. I almost fell over backwards with shock.

(She'd apparently learned it from the debt ads on Nick Toons whilst at her Mum's place during the week.)

 

[goo_mason]

My Mum ran a playgroup for over 20 years. Two of her classics was as follows:

One of the little girls is sitting on my Mum's knee during milk'n'biscuits time. My Mum catches the little girl repeatedly staring up at her, with a puzzled look on her face. Shortly afterwards the little voice pipes up: "Mrs Mason ? Do you know you've got a nose EXACTLY like a witch ?"

Another little girl is sitting on her knee another time. She starts prodding my Mum in the groin, over and over again. Mum asks her what she's doing. "Mrs Mason, why haven't you got a litle winkie like my Daddy ?" came the reply...

 

[goo_mason]

Oh, and another nose-related one.

I was sitting on a bus, aged about 21. Little boy and his Dad sit down in front of me. The wee lad stands up on the chair and turns around, staring at me for quite some time before turning to his Dad and excitedly yelling, "Dad ! DAD ! Have you SEEN the size of that man's nose !!"

The back of his Dad's neck went scarlet, he yanked the kid down and made him sit looking forwards for the rest of the journey.

 

[magnatom]

100% true story this...one of my wife's cousins (at the time a young lad about 3 or 4) apparently ran up to an obese lady in a supermarket, (wearing one of those flowery tent like dresses), he drops to the floor and wraps his arms around one of her legs and shouts 'FAT LEGS'.

At a large family get together meal (my wifes family - notice the trend) her young cousins were there. The oldest - completely out of the blue- during dinner decides says out loud, 'why did Robert (the younger cousin from the first story) get his Willy chopped off?...'

They are all older now and settling down!

 

[Slim]

Christmas time and my youngest (5 at the time) shows me his list for Santa.

"Nicholas, some of those things on your list are very expensive"

"That's OK daddy. You don't have to buy them. Father Christmas just brings them"



.

 

[ChrisKH]

Three years ago, my (then 6yr-old) daughter was asking me why I never really had much money. Cue me trying to explain paying off debts to her.

"Have you ever considered consolidating all of your debts into one easy monthly repayment ?", came the considered reply. I almost fell over backwards with shock.

(She'd apparently learned it from the debt ads on Nick Toons whilst at her Mum's place during the week.)

My six year old said exactly the same. Nicktoons again. The power of advertising.

He has also asked me if I wanted to become a driving instructor for RED because all I need is a clean licence and I can earn upwards of £30,000 a year......

 

[jeltz]

Well its not just, sometimes parents come out with them too.

A couple of years ago I was at Longleat Safari Park and walked up to the ostrich and giraffe enclosure where a keeper was holding a large egg and answering questions from the public.

Next to us a lady (Late 30's) with her 13-14 year old daughter goes up to the keeper and asks "Is that a giraffe egg?" to which the keeper goes no an ostrich egg. Exasperated teenager hits mum in the side saying "Mum you are sooooooo embarrassing" reply "Well I didn't know did I!"

Me and Mrs jeltz crying with laughter.

Oh and while on the subject Longleat House has a rather nice long smooth downhill run, very good fun on 2 wheels

 

[numbnuts]

Standing in a queue at a supermarket and I’m wearing cycling tights
Mummy why is that man dressed as a ballerina

 

[Shaun]

Standing in a queue at a supermarket and I’m wearing cycling tights
Mummy why is that man dressed as a ballerina

 

[Globalti]

My six year old said exactly the same. Nicktoons again. The power of advertising.

He has also asked me if I wanted to become a driving instructor for RED because all I need is a clean licence and I can earn upwards of £30,000 a year......

Oh yes... some years ago my wife got the same thing: "Mum, why don't you use Persil?" (or whatever it was)

Mum: "Why?"

He: "Because it gets your whites cleaner than other powders...!"