Laugh! I nearly died laughing

[Greedo]

I was out for a coffee earlier for a bit of peace and quiet for 20mins to read a report.

There was a young couple sitting on the couch behind me. They were all over each other and obvious by their conversation they had just started seeing each other.

The guy sounded a bit brighter than her and they were asking each other loads of daft questions. He asked her what her favourite cheese was.

Her reply. Toasted!!!!!!!

I couldn't stop laughing and the guy's said to her. No!! I meant like Brie, Cheddar etc.........

 

[andylaw79]

He was paying by Mastercard was he?

 

[swee'pea99]

From a Guardian piece today on the imminent Miss Great Britain contest...

Even one of the guys who ran it despised them. "I asked the girls to write out why they entered Miss Great Britain," he told me. "One wrote, 'I want people to understand that models aren't stupid. I've got four A-levellers.' Another wrote, 'I want to prove I have a brian ...'"

 

[Greedo]

Don't get it!

 

[montage]

Couch? What is a Couch?!

A sofa on the otherhand...

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Her reply. Toasted!!!!!!!

Class

 

[swee'pea99]

Don't get it!

'A levellers'?
'A brian'?

 

[Dayvo]

[quote name='swee'pea99']From a Guardian piece today on the imminent Miss Great Britain contest...

Even one of the guys who ran it despised them. "I asked the girls to write out why they entered Miss Great Britain," he told me. "One wrote, 'I want people to understand that models aren't stupid. I've got four A-levellers.' Another wrote, 'I want to prove I have a brian ...'"[/QUOTE]

Very good!

I'd like to enter Miss Great Britain, too!

 

[Arch]

Here at the Uni, we have an annual bike auction, all the bikes left abandoned over the course of the year (got my Galaxy there, for £15, but I digress).

Last time I was at it, I saw a girl and guy (I assume her boyfriend) looking for a bike for her. She picked one out, and he was checking it over (sensible, many of them are rusted solid, or have no brakes etc). So, he picked it up off the ground, and asked her to turn the pedals by hand, to check the rear wheel wasn't so out of true it stuck, or that the chain wasn't a solid lump. So she turned the pedals, and he looked and then put it down, and before he could say anything, she said "Well, that's no good then.". "Why?" he said, puzzled, because actually it seemed to be running quite freely.









"Well, the front wheel didn't go round."

I walked away. As I did so, I could see him rolling the bike back and forth on the ground in an attempt to explain.

 

[swee'pea99]

A friend of mine (female, and highly intelligent as it happens) once told me she'd bought a Mini. Oh, which one? I asked. A blue one, she said.

 

[Mr Pig]

That's quite funny, the cheese one I mean :0)

Talking of girlfriends and food reminded me of something. When I was at high school I once finished with a girl because she always had food down her! Well, it wasn't the only reason, but it was a big one.

She wasn't a bertha or anything, she was slim, quite attractive and was a cheery, fun person. At lunch time she'd come down to where I stood with my mates and she always had food down her. Like, every day! Not plastered all over her but bits of food stuck to the front of her blazer etc.

I know, it sounds really petty but my friends started commenting on it. 'What's the story with Susan, she's always got food down her?'. It's a hard thing to bring up in conversation with your girlfriend, she didn't throw food at her mouth or anything, it was just as if she hadn't learned to eat quite as well as other people.

Anyway, sorry, do carry on chaps :0)

 

[Keith Oates]

Just keep taking the pills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mscott]

she was probably nervous

 

[Speck]

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.

"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,
"we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a fully developed chest.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No Honey, it's because you're 24."

 

[Gary D]

That's just brightened up my very dull morning!!!

Thanks.