A few years back a couple I know borrowed a boat and sailed a big length of the Leeds-Liverpool canal. They stopped off in Burnley for the night...
As they moored the boat, they heard a commotion coming from just up the canal. Two very large women with heavily-tattooed arms were shouting to a boy who had dived into a very polluted stretch of water. He resurfaced after about 30 seconds holding something furry and in an excited voice yelled "Hey mam, I got me a rat!"
After that, they went looking for something to eat. They got a frosty reception at a sandwich shop when they asked for wholemeal bread and salad to accompany their processed cheese slices.
Eventually they ended up at a backstreet pub somewhere in Burnley. They said that when they walked in, it was like a scene from a Western. Everybody stopped drinking and turned to stare at them.
Apparently it was Quiz Night at the pub, and being the sort of people who solve the Guardian crossword in about 20 minutes, they thought they'd have a go.
"What is the capital city of France?"
"What is the name of the British Prime Minister?"
"What date was the battle of Hastings..."
"...and who won?"
"What is the name of this pub - NO CHEATING!"
and so on...
The answer sheets were handed in and after a delay for marking, the results were finally announced - "In third place, Mick & Dave with a score of 3/20. In 2nd place the Slasher family with 5/20. And in 1st place with a score of... 20/20 were some f**kin' smart-arse bastards from out of town, the 'boat-crew'. So you think yer clever do ya, well come 'ere and claim yer bloody prize then!" My friends quietly slipped out of the side door and ran back to the boat before they were lynched...