Yellow Fang said:
1] Nipples help medics to locate the heart: it's right in the middle. I was told that if someone had a heart attack I was to rip open their shirt and give them a BGT (bloody great thump) right between the nipples. So they're not entirely useless, even on men.
That gives me an idea! A perfect way to oggle ladyboobs without getting arrested!
Just rip open the shirt, go in for a fondle, stand back, oggle, then say, "Oh ... yes ... magnificent! ... I do apologise, you looked like your heart had stopped".
Perfectly reasonable excuse B)