Trillian said:
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waiting to have sex would eliminate the above and make it special between me and my wife - whoever that may be
I see what you're saying, however I feel that your approach is more one aimed at preventing the consequences, rather than dealing with the problem - education and respect.
For someone like yourself to say that one of the reasons you are unwilling to have sex before marriage is to circumvent the problems associated with irresponsible teenage behaviour is unrealistic, as for you to take this view, you are clearly responsible enough to take responsibility for your actions, and take precations against disease and unwanted pregnancy.
Although this does bring us neatly to the point of personal wishes - you are obeying yours without hurting anyone else, which is a key value in my life and how I conduct it.
I always am launched into a spiral of difficult thinking by issues such as this. I have been raised to think idependantly, and to make decisions based on how I feel. You have been brought up to make decisions based, in part, on the doctrine of the bible, which is the thinking of other people. But you still make a sentient ecision to obey / disobey that doctrine, so you are still making a personal choice.
Who is to say what is the right choice, or if they can both be right. I also wonder if my upbringing had not been atheist, what my choices might have been, and whether my ability to feedom of expression would have been compromised.
with regard to too much emphasis being placed on sex, thats western society.
I don't believe this to be true, I think that it is ancient eastern society that has caused this, with their development of the mass religions, which have now been included in western society. Replacing the religions of wicca and the like, with the current bodily stigmas.
imagine you've got a 20 year old daughter, do you want me sleeping with her and then one day saying "i've had enough of you, goodbye"
or would you prefer me to wait, say that i'm going to be with her until I die and then sleep with her?
personally i'd prefer the latter
I think in honest answer to your question, I would have to say that it would make no difference to me whether or not she had chosen to have sex with you. In a way I would hope that she did, as it is a seriously pleasureable activity and a perk of being human, but the factor that would most heavily influence my thoughts about you leaving her would be the reason why.
If you ditched her in a messy and cruel way, I would not be impressed, but if you could say that your feelings towards her had changed and that you did not believe that it was right to continue going out with her, I could respect you for your honesty and openness.
The fact that you had or had not been sleeping with her would not enter into it.