There's this guy who.....

[djb1971]

everything below is factual and never really happened officer


The story:

There's this guy who lives in the next street to me who drives a 4x4 pickup and can't see over the dashboard, you know the type. He also has around another 5 vehicles that clog the street/pavement/grass verge up outside his house so he can't see when reversing from his drive.

Last week he pulled out in front of my van and then gave me a dirty look for not expecting him to leave his drive backwards at 40mph. The other night his tart of a wife pulled out in front of me whilst I was riding my bike and completely ignored me even though I've got 2 fenix and 2 knog gekkos on my bars. Tonight he reversed out in front of me and made me lock both wheels and almost smack into the side of the pr1cks tank. The git had the nerve to drive off whils I was giving him a dressing down and didn't even ask if I was ok!!


The justice

Lets say he goes out to his pimp mobile later tonight or tomorrow morning and finds all 4 tyres flat

Lets say he tries to pump them up...........

and fails miserably

Lets say in 3 or 4 days he has a letter through the post with 4 valves in them




The wan*er

Lets say.............. I'm just off out to the post box

 

[jonesy]

Looks a bit miserable outside, I' m sure that trip to the postbox can wait.

 

[mondobongo]

If someone was advocating this I would say wait a week or so so that you were not the first person that popped into his pea sized brain when he thinks who would want to do that to him.

Otherwise sounds like a plan to me I for one have had my fill of car drivers this week.

On Monday I had an idiot try and turn right across the front of me as I came off the M6 Junc 11, my missus would'nt let me out of the car despite me managing to pull up behind him at the next set of lights.

Last night got caught out with the light and was making my way up the lanes back to the Wyre from Scorton but did have a 3 led front light on and 2 rear lights. Had more than one driver blind me with full beam lights and then the village idiot cam roaring down running full beam would not drop the beam despite me signalling, totally blinded me was that bad I had to put a foot down and dodge the verge at the side I put my arms out in a what the hell way his response to sound his horn peasant. If I could have got his no but he was moving.

 

[Noodley]

I would so like to say you are being naughty and should not do these things...but I am not!

I have no gripe with 'drivers' as most cyclists are also drivers...I do have a gripe with peanuts, whether on a bike or in a car.

 

[Melvil]

I would so like to say you are being naughty and should not do these things...but I am not!

I have no gripe with 'drivers' as most cyclists are also drivers...I do have a gripe with peanuts, whether on a bike or in a car.

Never a truer word spoken, Noodley.

 

[djb1971]

The note inside with the valves taped to it read ' trick or treat!!'

No harm done but it'll get on his t!ts

He can borrow 4 valves from one his fleet .

I feel better now, apart from the 2 stamps I've just used

 

[marooncat]

I feel better now, apart from the 2 stamps I've just used

You should have "forgotten" to put stamps on the envelope so he had to pay to get the letter from the post office... or is that just a wee bit OTT

 

[Noodley]

Couldn't you have gone round to his house and spoken to him? Do you think what you did will actually change the way he drives? and his attitude towards cyclists? I doubt it.

Do you think if I went round to his house and smashed his face in that he would become a nice person? I doubt it.

 

[mondobongo]

What would be the icing is a photo of his face when he sees four flat tyres.

 

[djb1971]

Couldn't you have gone round to his house and spoken to him? Do you think what you did will actually change the way he drives? and his attitude towards cyclists? I doubt it.

In answer to the above:

Yes
and probably started a fight and pushed his teeth to the back of his head

No
He will be an A-hole until he dies

But it made me feel better and I care more about me than him

He will think it's halloween kids, they were everywhere last night. Reasoning doesn't work with everbody he didn't even check to see if me or my bike went under his back wheels. You will soon learn in life Lee that 99.99% of people in cars are out to get you and don't give a sh1t if you die as they try to squeeze past you to go shopping/pub/school run etc. An ahole will always be an ahole

 

[Dayvo]

Do you think if I went round to his house and smashed his face in that he would become a nice person? I doubt it.

No, of course not, but it'd make you a better person!

 

[djb1971]

Just checking djb, you didn't put a return address on it did you

No I put Lee's on it

 

[dudi]

he'll open the envelope and wonder what the fcuk these little metal things are... toss them in the bin and then go out and admire his new bridgestones...

He sounds like a bit of a cock.

 

[djb1971]

When I went past his house this morning his car had gone so the knob must have figured out how to fix them lol

All of his fleet has been missing all day with the exception of the freelander his wife can't drive

maybe it's done the street a favour, you can actually drive down it for now.

 

[Downward]

I Sir Salute you.