Things you'd like to say, but can't

[Speicher]

I agree with you that there is no rush for me to do this. Mainly because I have no intention of doing it. Two years ago, I offered to find someone who could do it properly, but you said you would do it yourself.

If you insist you are so capable, then find what you need and organise it yourself. If it has taken you two years and you still have done it this, that is your problem, not mine. I have suggested how to go about it, and who to ask.

 

[Speicher]

....all I asked you to do was make me a cup of tea, Wol

Do you want a biscuit with that?

 

[Spinney]

Yes please, a jaffa cake, if you've got one.....or even better a jam doughnut

And where do you want the biscuit?

 

[Ratchet Cat]

If you don't organise stuff don't be surprised if I step in and sort it out.
I know far more about it than you.
You are a useless mollusc and need to learn how to motivate your staff. Its no wonder so many of them are unhappy and getting other jobs!

 

[Maverick Goose]

Good luck with the next 20 minuter!

 

[gbb]

Yesterday mornings...there's a good frost and water puddles have frozen solid in the yard at work, the area where they wash out bins. Two guys in particular seem to love having a hosepipe in their hands (ooer missus), they wash their particular part of the yard within an inch of its life Christ knows how much water they're using each day, try telling them, its 'water off a ducks back' , they just gleefully carry on.
So the yard is frozen in patches. He's asked for some salt to put down, which he's now recieved and spread around.
He's now pointing at the frozen hosepipe...expectantly. He now wants to start slopping water all over the area he's just put salt down....and will create a bigger problem than he's just solved.
I said...'Noooo, no water, ...you'll make it too icy'

What i'd like to say is...
'Nooo, you frikkin fcukwitted brainless moron, use you head, what do you think will happen if you start washing the area down.....think man ...think.'


Give me strength....common sense seems a very rare commodity nowadays

 

[Mrs M]

Good luck with the job applications = can't wait to see the back of your arrogant, sour, spoiled mug that is just asking for a very hard slap.

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

You've just taken a full sized meal upstairs. One minute later you're downstairs shovelling half the fridge in your mouth. Now you're off upstairs with a 2 pint jug of cereal to accompany the meal you haven't eaten yet. And now we've got to sit here freezing because you've left every door open in the house en-route.
But don't worry. We'll was all your pots, supply the £70 of food you eat a week, clean your room, clean the cooker, redecorate the stairs and paint the doors because of the hand prints, put up with the TV all night, the blaring music you have going out of the wide open kitchen window when you go for a smoke, put back everything you move in the garage, hide the stuff we don't want you going through as soon as we leave the house and live with the stench from your room. Then there's the shoot you leave in the toilet.
Its' a shame you managed at the fourth attempt to sign on, you moving out would make this house bliss.

 

[Saluki]

You've just taken a full sized meal upstairs. One minute later you're downstairs shovelling half the fridge in your mouth. Now you're off upstairs with a 2 pint jug of cereal to accompany the meal you haven't eaten yet. And now we've got to sit here freezing because you've left every door open in the house en-route.
But don't worry. We'll was all your pots, supply the £70 of food you eat a week, clean your room, clean the cooker, redecorate the stairs and paint the doors because of the hand prints, put up with the TV all night, the blaring music you have going out of the wide open kitchen window when you go for a smoke, put back everything you move in the garage, hide the stuff we don't want you going through as soon as we leave the house and live with the stench from your room. Then there's the shoot you leave in the toilet.
Its' a shame you managed at the fourth attempt to sign on, you moving out would make this house bliss.

Oh dear. Lodger problems?

 

[ColinJ]

Oh dear. Lodger problems?

Ha ha - I was going to post exactly the same thing!

 

[Saluki]

Ha ha - I was going to post exactly the same thing!

I've had a 'lodger from hell' not quite in Michael Keaton's class but bad enough and know that it's just not funny. I gave a month's notice to him and then put the house on the market. Once numpty brain had gone, I took the house off the market as I liked my home again.

 

[ColinJ]

I've had a 'lodger from hell' not quite in Michael Keaton's class but bad enough and know that it's just not funny. I gave a month's notice to him and then put the house on the market. Once numpty brain had gone, I took the house off the market as I liked my home again.

People have suggested that I get a lodger to help with my bills but I wouldn't even like having a friend live in my house, let alone a stranger - especially a hellish one!

 

[hopless500]

I thought it was offspring, rather than a lodger...

 

[ColinJ]

I thought it was offspring, rather than a lodger...

I took it that it was, but was the culprit was referred to as a 'lodger' for comedic effect?

 

[Saluki]

I thought it was offspring, rather than a lodger...

That was my second thought, after I had posted the lodger comment.

Wait until offspring goes out and then change the locks?
I know a family who kept totally silent about an impending move until their eldest was safely signed up and had his first day's training with the RAF and then dropped the bombshell that they were all emigrating to Canada that weekend. Knowing the eldest, I can honestly say that I didn't blame them.