This is hard... Chuffy - get in here!!!

[snapper_37]

Have to spleen so here goes...

My brother lives in the US. His wife and I have never got on. IMO she is up her own arse, never had to work, lives in million $ digs and looks down on everything here, including my Mom & Dad.

Then, along came the sprogs.

I have met No 1 niece around 4 times. I have met No 1 nephew 0 times ( He is new born though). We send them loads of pressies etc but never seem to get anything back, even a thank you)

There is a massive wall growing between me and my brother that I do not like and it's down to 1) the anomosity between me and said wife and 2) I have a flying phopbia and 3) we haven't got the fecking money to go there and 4) it annoys me that my pensioner parents have to scrape the money for a flight when he earns what he does.

We are slagged off for not going to visit every year, by family. My point is, how the eff can you continue a relationship like this, particularly with the children?

 

[4F]

Simple don't, sod them

 

[snapper_37]

Simple don't, sod them

Easy said than done with my mom is panning to keep us together. I have tried to tell her....

 

[4F]

My sister lives less than 2 miles from me and I have seen the lazy workshy scounger and waster of a husband twice in the past year and that was two times too many.

I explained my position to my parents, they did not see my viewpoint however I am sure they will get over it. Families pah

 

[montage]

Try and invite them round to England for christmas?

 

[snapper_37]

Try and invite them round to England for christmas?

lol, nice idea babes, but ... no, it would never happen. Mind you, I would rather be in Beverly Hills than Wolves at Xmas, to be fair If I had a magic click of the fingers!

 

[4F]

I still think post 3 applies

 

[montage]

Hmmm well could try and play the major events card...parent's anniversary and such.
Just a little food for thought as I don't really know a thing on this matter.

But "a spoon full of sugar makes the medicine go round" (I'm unsure by what I mean by this aswell but it seems appropriate!)

 

[Crackle]

It's very easy to imagine all sorts of nuances at a distance with time to dwell on them. It depends how much this matters to you.

On a simple note, have you tried Webcams using something like MSN?

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Have to spleen so here goes...

My brother lives in the US. His wife and I have never got on. IMO she is up her own arse, never had to work, lives in million $ digs and looks down on everything here, including my Mom & Dad.

Then, along came the sprogs.

I have met No 1 niece around 4 times. I have met No 1 nephew 0 times ( He is new born though). We send them loads of pressies etc but never seem to get anything back, even a thank you)

There is a massive wall growing between me and my brother that I do not like and it's down to 1) the anomosity between me and said wife and 2) I have a flying phopbia and 3) we haven't got the fecking money to go there and 4) it annoys me that my pensioner parents have to scrape the money for a flight when he earns what he does.

We are slagged off for not going to visit every year, by family. My point is, how the eff can you continue a relationship like this, particularly with the children?

Blimey Snapper, are you me? is that my family you're talking about in the U.S.?

I've got just the same and I'm at sod 'em point - so sod 'em!

 

[fossyant]

Sorry but if they are 'loaded americans - i.e. the missus attitude' then they are well rich over there........ simple really...say you can't afford to come over...easy... be bold...

Your bro will appreciate it, but the yankie wife might not just understand.......lifestyles and all.....

We are pretty honest with family - 'oh we're off for a meal' - us it's keep the young kids up and with us...../ baby sitter / money...... better of saying too much....

 

[Chuffy]

You must be troubled if you're asking me for advice!

Not sure I can offer any words of wisdom though. Ultimately it comes down to identifying the specific things that bother you, like upsetting your parents or your brother, and how far you're prepared to go to deal with those issues.

 

[Abitrary]

You must be troubled if you're asking me for advice!

Not sure I can offer any words of wisdom though. Ultimately it comes down to identifying the specific things that bother you, like upsetting your parents or your brother, and how far you're prepared to go to deal with those issues.

so wrong. I don't think it's as simple as that. You're picking out stuff that causes the problem in the first place.

There are a *thousand* things that converge at times like this and I just think it's a bit shallow trying to pick out *specific* ones.

 

[Noodley]

The correct answer is:
shrug shoulders and accept it's a loss, and there is nothing you can do however unfortunate it may seem...and move on.

 

[sheddy]

Take an interest in the offsprings - ask if they can send some drawings (and later letters) or video/audio stuff for you and the grandparents. Then maybe migrate to the webcam thingy. Must be worth a try