Tour De France - notre Equipe

[Speicher]

I am noticing an expansion in the tummy area of some of the Team. I have therefore procured some Swiss Balls from Mr Cancellara, for the specific purpose of exercises for the abdominals of the culprits. It may be due to excess consumption of Flapjacks, and coke (aka cola), or too much experimenting with the produce of local breweries.

In the words of Paul Sherwood Forest some peeps may need to be whacked over the head with a rolled up newspaper, well that's what he said he would do the rider who tried to catch up with Ricardo this afternoon.

 

[Speicher]

Well? Where is everyone? Has The Party started without me?
Davyo and BT(much slimmer)B are responsible for the music. BTMSB will not want to stay up late tonight, I think he has Very Important Things To Do Tomorrow.

If Mr Valverde is feeling not too tired, I will ask him to dance with me.

Did anyone else notice those people with bare bums at the start of the Tourmalet? (Spectators, not riders).

 

[Will1985]

Dayvo - I've been doing what I can, but the trouble is the budget just isn't big enough to provide enough spare changes of kit. If one of our riders were to lead a jersey competition it would be a whole different story - I've got piles of leaders' jerseys lying around unused!!

 

[tdr1nka]

Can anyone back home relay them to the tour?

 

[Smokin Joe]

Don't worry about kit, fellas. I have some tins of emulsion in the spares van that mrs Smokin Joe asked me to get at the hypermarket in Calais so I could paint the kitchen when I get home. As I don't fancy doing it we can kill two birds with one stone by painting the jerseys onto the team. There is some black hammerite knocking about that will do for the shorts, and we can pretend that the riders keep their energy bars on the front of the saddle for easy reach, should some nosey official get suspicious.

Line up round the back of the team bus in the morning and I'll have the lad standing by with all the correct colours at the ready.

 

[Speicher]

SmokingJoe - As well as the emulsion did you buy some sandpaper and gloss paint.

I have been advised already that as Massager, I should not to rub people up the wrong way!

 

[Fnaar]

... as Massager, I should not to rub people up the wrong way!

You know that will do them better than any illicit substance!

 

[Aperitif]

Ah! For some strange reason I am thinking of Dick Turp in...must be going nuts

 

[Smokin Joe]

SmokingJoe - As well as the emulsion did you buy some sandpaper and gloss paint.

I have been advised already that as Massager, I should not to rub people up the wrong way!

Damn, I new I'd forgotten something!

Not to worry though, we've found a wire brush that fits on the end of the drill. Should be safe enough provided we don't press too hard. I've also got some Polyfila to smooth over the cracks in their arses before painting, as this would be a dead give away to anyone following one of our riders. (Not that many have been following our riders, they have spent most of the race sitting on the back moaning).

 

[Fnaar]

Damn, I new I'd forgotten something!

Not to worry though, we've found a wire brush that fits on the end of the drill. Should be safe enough provided we don't press too hard. I've also got some Polyfila to smooth over the cracks in their arses before painting, as this would be a dead give away to anyone following one of our riders. (Not that many have been following our riders, they have spent most of the race sitting on the back moaning).

But they'd then be effectively one buttocked... leading to movement restrictions and therfore losing the race!

 

[Smokin Joe]

But they'd then be effectively one buttocked... leading to movement restrictions and therfore losing the race!

Good point.

I've sent out for some silicon sealant. That should allow them to flex a bit.

 

[Fnaar]

Good point.

I've sent out for some silicon sealant. That should allow them to flex a bit.

Perhaps a Plumber's Mait might help, also

 

[Noodley]

<victor meldrew> I don't believe it! <victor meldrew>

You lot get a day off and what do you do?!? Get pissed up on cheap plonk, dance on tables at night and then sleep all day. Why yenners was carrying a bucket and spade I'll never work out, but I remember saying something about "being on holiday"

I have just about found everyone again, still missing wee Joe, Dayvo and Dave5N. Last I heard there had been rumours of indiscretions with podium girls. I hope the 2 Daves are looking after the young lad.

 

[Noodley]

I gets worse! I have just discovered most of the rooms are empty! I thought they were asleep but when I went to wake them up all I found was pillows stuffed under the duvets to look like someone was sleeping...you lot are a bloody disaster

So, if anyone sees Smoking Joe, Fnaar, Melvil, Walker (I'm disappointed, I thought better of you), Fab Foodie (I'm not surprised TBH ), Tete, Gezza and Longers' dog (honestly!! ...get them bloody back be tomorrow.

On a more positve note - Arch has agreed to knit new team kit and promises it'll be ready soon. She cannot guarantee it will not sag a bit if we get more rain.

 

[Joe24]

Dont worry, the podium girls are very nice, they looked after me I've been in their rooms for a while, showing them how the young English men ride, which they seemed to enjoy.
I will be back to modifying these bikes later, but i will soon be running out of card and gaffa tape. The handlebars need retaping back onto the steerer tube, and only just got enough left.
This card isnt lasting long as deep section rims either.