Archer, one for your Christmas list!

[Hilldodger]

Whitstable Mum in Custard Shortage

 

[Arch]

(Note for perplexed readers: I have ready access to copies of the York Press, and we often scour them for This Week's Inconsequential Fire Story. Best to date is the teatowel found smouldering on a hob. The householder threw it in the sink, and it was out before the brigade arrived. "The tea towel was slightly damaged")

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

The all time classic:

'Man survives fatal accident'