You have actually been taking notes??
Still, at least it isn't as bad as the taxi driver who once told me in all seriousness
'Its been raining on and off here for the last 17 days'
Really? Have you thought about getting a life? Weather is weather, there is sod all you can do about it, live with it, seriously.
I used to do a lot of cycling in the summer, a bit less in the autumn and spring and not much in the winter. My fitness and weight used to track that seasonal pattern - unfit in the winter and half a stone heavier, getting fitter in the spring and the weight coming off, and so on ...
In autumn 2006, I weighed 12 st 10 lbs and was easily managing mega-hilly Yorkshire 200 km audax rides in 10 hours. As usual, I gained weight as I cycled less through the winter. But the summer never really came in 2007. I kept some fitness and was able to finally conquer one of my long-term cycling goals by doing the arduous 140 mile ride from Hebden Bridge to visit my family in Coventry (and back a week later) but I struggled to find 2 dry days to do the rides. Conditions were so cold in mid-July that I wore winter cycling kit most of the way down. By then, my weight had risen to over 14 stone.
That pattern continued right through to 2012, by which time I had ballooned up to 16 st 9 lbs, had the cycling ability of a very large slug, and ended up suffering a near-fatal illness related to my lifestyle.
Have I noticed the lack of a proper summer since 2006? Too bloody right I have!
I have done my share of riding a bike when soaked, into a howling gale, but there is only so much of it I can take!
It isn't just a slight preference for sunny conditions ... I suffer from SAD and start to get depressed after endless weeks of crappy, dull, grey, cold, wet conditions. Yesterday, I sat on my back step in the sun and all was okay in the world. 5 seconds later, a black cloud blew over and my mood changed instantly. I found myself thinking about the horrific events in Woolwich. Then the sun shone again and I was back to thinking about lambs in fields. Cloud - hundreds dead in Bangladeshi factory collapse. Sun - children building sandcastles on a beach. Cloud - drone attacks on Afghan village ...
I am beginning to think that the UK climate has suffered a permanent change and that this is all we have to look forward to - a few sunny days here and there and endless weeks of wind, cloud and rain!
(Apart from that, everything is fine ...

)