Proofing Own works...
I find it very difficult to proof my own works, yet I can see flaws in others quite easily. Fortunately my father was an editor for an in house and so often I get him to edit my letters
I know my re-hash had errors but I did those changes in about ten minutes.
There is always a balance between ensuring your letter is actually read and acted upon, or just ignored and thrown into the waste paper basket.
I can see what Dom was trying to say, your first letter is quite abrupt, and so may offend a reader. He was suggesting to use a softly softly approach in thee first instance.
If then they fail to reply at all, or reply in an appropriate manner, then to write a harsher letter of complaint.
Please keep us informed of any responses.
Adrian