AUDI
Another Useless Deutsche Invention;
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence;
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented;
Are U Driving It?
BMW
Brings Me Women;
Big Money Waster;
Broke My Wallet;
Babe Magnet Wannabe;
Bad Man Wagon;
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder;
Black Man's Wish;
Bring Money With;
Born Moderately Wealthy;
Bring More Wrenches;
Bolts Magnified Washers;
Be My Wife;
Bring More Wine.
BUICK
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer;
Big Ugly Import Car Killer;
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King.
CHEVROLET
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips;
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time;
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time;
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques.
CHEVY
Continues Having Emissions Violations Yearly.
CHRYSLER
Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement;
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair!
DODGE
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere;
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater;
Dead Old Dog Going East;
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires;
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter;
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive;
Dad's Old Dead Garage Experiment;
Don't Over Drive Gutless Engines.
FIAT
Failed Italian Automotive Technology;
Failed In A Tunnel;
Fix It Again Tony!
FORD
Fix Or Repair Daily;
First On Rubbish Dump;
Found On Roadside Dead;
Fast Only Rolling Downhill;
Failed On Race Day;
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma;
Federation Of Retarded Drivers;
First On Race Day;
Fine Old Rednecks Dream;
Formerly Old Recycled Dodge;
Found Offroad Rescuing Dodges;
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy;
Feeble Offspring Ruin Designs;
Fancy Old Roadsters Defunct;
Fading Orders Reflect Defects;
Foreigners Optimize Radical Downsizing;
Future Obscene Riches Debatable;
Factories On Rouge Demolished;
Feds Organize Running Debate;
Foreign Oil Resources Determinant;
Final Outcome: Razed Detroit;
DROF- Driver Returns On Foot;
DROF- Dependable Recalls On Fridays.
GM
Garbage Motors;
Government Made;
Generally Miserable;
General Maintenance;
Great Mistake.
GMC
Garage Man's Companion;
Gay Man's Chariot;
Greatest Made Chevy;
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Get More Chicks;
Gets Mechanics Crazy;
Gods Mechanical Curse;
Got More Crap.
HOLDEN
Holes, Oil Leaks, Dents, Engine Noises;
Heaps Of Loud Disgusting Engine Noises.
HONDA
Happy Owners Never Drive Anything (else);
Had One Never Did Again;
Hold On Not Done Accelerating;
Heck Of (a) Nice Ride Actually.
HYUNDAI
Helping Young Unemployed Narcs Drive American Interstates;
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive;
Here's Y U Never Drive An Import;
Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside.
ISUZU
It Sucks, Unless Zero Used.
JAGUAR
Junk Always Going Under At Repair Shop.
JEEP
Just Enough Engine Power;
Just Empty Every Pocket;
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly;
Just Everybodies Everyday Parts.
KIA
Kick It Again;
Keep It Away;
Kill It Anyway,
Kills Innocent Americans.
LOTUS
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious.
MAZDA
Mostly Always Zipping Dangerously Along;
Made After Zero Design Analysis.
MERCEDES
Mechanically Excellent Real Cars Every Driver Envies Sight;
Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales.
MG
Money Guzzler;
Mostly Garaged;
MG-B: Might Go Backwards;
MG-F: Might Go Forwards.
MINI
Moron Inside Notably Insane.
MITSUBISHI
Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete;
Motor Is Tough, Sounds Unbelievably Bad, Intimidates Slow Hondas Incessantly.
MOPAR
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly;
My Old Pig Ain't Running;
Mostly Old Parts And Rust;
Most Often Passed At Races;
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly;
My Only Problems Are Repairs;
Move Over People Are Racing.
NISSAN
Needs Imminent Salvage So Abandon Now;
Nothing Is So Sad As Nissan.
OLDSMOBILE
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday;
Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Off Bridges Into Lake Erie!
OPEL
Ousted Problematic Export Leaker.
PLYMOUTH
Please Let Your Mechanic Out Under The Hood!
PONTIAC
People On Narcotics Think It's A Cadillac;
Poor Old N***** Thinks It's a Cadillac;
Poor Old Ninny Thinks It's A Cadillac;
Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities.
PORSCHE
Proof Of Rich Spoilt Children Having Everything;
Proudly Own Real Sports Car, However, Expensive.
SAAB
Swedish Automobiles Are Best;
Sad Attempt At Beauty;
Still Ain't A Beamer;
Send Another Automobile Back;
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown;
Slow As A Buick!
Start Adding Additional Brakefluid;
Some peanut Actually Bought (it).
SUBARU
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually.
SUZUKI
Space Usually Zero Unless Kids Inside.
TORANA
Tons Of Rust And No Acceleration.
TOYOTA
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto;
The One You Ought To Avoid;
Taking Our Yen Out Through Australia;
They Overcharge You On Their Accessories;
Take Off Your Oversized Tires peanut;
Total Overhaul Yearly on Tojo's Anniversary.
TRIUMPH
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help;
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt.
VOLVO
Vehicle Of Low Velocity Output;
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object;
Very Old Lazy Vehicle Owner.
VOLKSWAGEN
Vehicle Of Loser Krauts Some Wacky Austrian Guy Endorsed Nationally.
VW
Valuable Wagon;
Very Wonderful;
Virtually Worthless;
Very Weird.
