Childcare

[Twilkes]

It seems a much higher proportion of under 5s spend most weekdays in nursery/childcare than when I was wee. Not sure when this started, but wonder how it affects their development. Used to work on a children's holiday centre, and we would get 15/16 year olds who had spent every school holiday since the age of 5 at some activity/residential place, and one even asked us why their parents didn't want to see them, which was a difficult conversation to have.

So - how long do/did your under 5s spend in childcare, and if you could go back, would you do it differently?

And did anyone themselves spend a lot of pre-school time in childcare, and how did you find it?

It's not just being away from parents, it's spending 30+ hours a week away from your home from a really early age. Sometimes it's just nice to play with your own Lego.

 

[Dan Allison]

We send our daughter 3 days a week, were very unsure about doing it but we needed the income.

We took a good tour of them all before we chose and we believe it has helped her social skills no end she loves playing with the others and because she mixes with the others has developed her skills no end. At 21 months she is a little chatter box and forming sentences etc .

We believe it has helped her out her shell.

 

[ianrauk]

My (near) 3 year old spends Monday and Tuesday with a childminder. We have known her for years. She looked after a couple of our friends children. Looks after him from 7.30am to 6pm. A long day but she is a marvelous, patient lady. Litt'lun loves her to bits'
Wednesday and Thursday he is looked after by his mum and goes to Nursery for 3 hours each day. He has been attending nursery for about a year now and absolutely loves it. We really think that it has help him interact with both adults and other children (of which we find especially important as he is an only child). Like Dan's child above, he's a chatterbox. Loves reading and counting. Drawing and making things. All learnt from nursery.
On Friday it's daddy day. Just me and him doing what ever we want to do that day.

 

[Arch]

I think (from a non-parental point of view), that it's probably good for kids to have some time in a nursery or playgroup, to help them learn to be social - especially the first or only child, since younger siblings learn to share etc with older siblings.

I don't like the idea that kids have to spend a lot of time in child care because both parents have to work. Ideally, I think one parent (Mum or Dad) ought to be able to stay at home at least until a child goes to school, and if the state have to contribute to make it so, I'd be happy with that.

On the other hand I (first child) didn't go to nursery at all - my first institution was school at 4. My younger sister did go to nursery from about 3. I don't know that it's affected our characters - we're different in many ways, but that was innate from birth. We had Mum at home full time, so nursery wasn't a necessity.

 

[Dan Allison]

On Friday it's daddy day. Just me and him doing what ever we want to do that day.

Thats nice. I spend lots of time with Dawn but not that often i get a whole day of her to myself as she just does nursery when Mrs. At work.

 

[ianrauk]

Thats nice. I spend lots of time with Dawn but not that often i get a whole day of her to myself as she just does nursery when Mrs. At work.

I do extended work hours Monday to Thursday.
Start half hour earlier, finish half hour later. So it means I only really miss half a day work/wages.
But it is so worth it.
I missed son#1 growing up and I wasn't going to make the same mistake with this one

 

[summerdays]

None of my children have ever been in full time nursery care though they have all attended ta local Nursery school from about age 3 for two and half days a week. My Eldest child spent 18 hour a week between the ages of 1 and 3 and a half and the middle one 6 months in paid for care.

In terms of how independent/clingy they are, the eldest is the most outgoing. I'm not sure if that is a reflection of childcare options or their individual personalities.

I did know one parent who actually asked her nursery what to feed her son at the weekend as he had 3 meals a day during the week at the nursery.

My children have spent some holidays apart from us - but they have been linked to clubs they have attended such as brownies, guides, St John's etc. I made the choice to work part time after taking a career break for my second and third child. I'm happy with my choice but realise that some don't have the finances to make that choice.

 

[Twilkes]

Interesting, never really considered the socialisation aspect - guess it depends on the child as well. When the times comes, it would be good to be able to make the decision because we wanted to rather than because we had to, and that probably depends on how much of our current spending we could do without. But I'm guessing babies are fairly cheap, a jar of peanut butter would last weeks, right?

 

[summerdays]

Baby food cheap yes.... all the other stuff....

 

[Dan Allison]

Even if we didn't have to we would continue with one day, just think it is so good for her.

Babies cheap?......... I could argue against that, to summarize 'No'

 

[Bromptonaut]

My two are now 18 and 20 so all this was a few years ago!!

When they were born Mrs B was teaching at the local comp which had an on site Nursery. She went part time after first was born and both kids were at nursery from around 4 months. There was also village playgroup from about 3 which they did with Mrs B. Later she and a friend co-ordinated their part time days and had each others kids before/after playgroup.

Once the oldest started primary she was picked up by a childminder, another friend who'd taken redundancy form the Electric Co. Usually Mrs B picked up an/or dropped off in morning but she started a Masters and I left work early to collect.

Later in primary there were various ad-hoc arrangements with friends, after school clubs etc. It was a big relief though to get them in yr6/7 and able to let themselves in at home after school.

As we're in a village the nursery/playgroup/primary (and secondary) cohorts overlapped. There's a lovely picture somewhere of my son's 'leaver' set from the playgroup in 1999. Most of them are still around him today at 17/18. There was also something called Mums'n'Tots Mrs B and daughter went to when she was barely sitting. One girl form there - mother's friendship facilitating in early years - - is still daughter's best friend.

Now they can drive themselves to meet each other.

 

[Sara_H]

I was very lucky when my son was born as both myself and ex husband and our Mums all worked shifts, so between us all we juggled the childcare between us.

He did go to a nursery for one morning a week, it wasn't really necessary, but I liked the idea of him getting used to being in the environment, having had a nephew who was distraught when he started at nursery aged 3. Having said that, I found the environment in the nursery very stressful, it was so noisy. I was very glad he didn't have to go their full time.

 

[Sandra6]

I didn't properly return to work until the youngest of my six was 2 and as I worked in a playgroup I got to take her with me.
I did however use creches while studying for the others at various ages and stages, child no 4 was the youngest at just five months old,but it was only ever for a few hours a week. They all attended play sessions in church/community centre/school with me and got plenty of socialisation time,and went to playgroup from around 2 1/2 for a couple of sessions a week.
The youngest is the only one to have used childcare proper, from age 3 1/2 she went to nursery from 9 - 3.30 atleast three days a week. There is no noticeable difference between her and her siblings in terms of social skills, early education or feelings of abandonment for that matter.
I'm quite well qualified in early years education and have had plenty of experience working in different settings,the only one I found difficult to manage was when working in a private nursery where we had babies as young as six weeks left with us from 8 am til 6pm!!
I think if you have to work,and many people do , then choosing a good setting for your child is essential.I would favour a child minder for a younger child, but over 3's seem to fair better in nursery.
There are as many studies to support childcare as there are knocking it.
You can only do what you feel is right for your family.