Considering giving up

[RoundWight]

I've been cycling in London for 3 years. I consider myself to be a fairly competent and undangerous cyclist. Last week I was knocked down by a scooter from behind and broke some front teeth. This March my boyfriend was killed by a HGV. I love cycling and hate public transport, but I'm seriously questioning - is it worth it? I've seen how devastated my boyfriend's parents are, I don't want mine to go through the same thing.

I'm guessing most people on here will think it is worth it, so please enlighten me.

Also, any tips on the psychology of getting back on the bike after an accident?

 

[furball]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I'm not surprised that you are querying the worth of keeping going, but the thing is, you haven't stopped. To keep going, you have to want to cycle, and it sounds as though you do. You have a right to be on the road and a right to be safe on the road. Lets face it, you could be just as easily knocked over by a vehicle when you are walking so worrying about what could happen is pointless and self destructive.
You have had a huge confidence blow but you are doing brilliantly. Pedal on.

 

[skudupnorth]

I guess you have more reason to question carrying on due to your loss but if cyling is what you enjoy then i say carry on when the time feels right.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

You've been through the mill and I'm genuinely sorry for your loss.

Take a break from commuting, maybe get yourself a bit of training, even for competent cyclists it can do wonders for your self-confidence after it's been knocked, try/endure the alternatives and then see how you feel about. Try getting yourself and your bike out of town of a weekend and ride around in the country, away from heavy traffic, say do a loop from a rural railway station somewhere lovely. Come on a FNRttC, say London to Brighton, in the spring. Sign up for a long sponsored ride next year to give you a reason, a goal, to ride a bike.

and tell ma and pa, as often as you can, that you love them too ;-)

 

[steve52]

lots of different issues here, dont let those that are not your fault stop you rideing if you enjoy,it, in the words or forest gump shoot happens! i dont mean to be flippent i empathsize with you and wish you all the best

 

[redjedi]

Sorry to hear about the terrible year you've had.

But you shouldn't let it put you off something you enjoy. Best thing to do would be get straight back on the bike and try and put it behind you.

As Greg has said, you may want to take a break from commuting for a little bit, but don't give up cycling altogether.

Go over to the Rides and Events forum and join one of the many rides. The Sunday London ride is great, and let's you enjoy the London roads without the brain dead commuters.
We're all a very friendly bunch and everyone is always welcome no matter what your ability/experience/confidence is like. You may also be able to pick up a few tips from some very good cyclists at the some time.

Chin up and keep cycling.

 

[Arch]

Also, any tips on the psychology of getting back on the bike after an accident?

The simple, (and perhaps unhelpful) answer, would be just do it. Otherwise, as others have said, get some training, or some riding buddies, vary your route if you can, perhaps that means more back streets, and taking a bit longer to get where you're going, but it'll all help to get you going again. I had a bad experience on a cattle grid, and it's left me pretty much unable to cycle over one - so I just get off and walk. Of course, you can't avoid traffic altogether, but you can maybe avoid the worst of it. And if you do find yourself in a panic, you can get off and walk for a bit, even if it's just to get across one bad junction or something.

So sorry to hear of your loss. If it helps, would your boyfriend have wanted you to give up? You can't live your whole life thinking that way, it's true, but sometimes just imaginging that person saying 'chin up, keep going, don't let the bastards get you down' can help (I speak from experience, albeit different circumstances).

The London CC bunch all seem like nice folk to me, even if I haven't met most of them. See if you can join a ride with them sometime.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

I had a bad experience on a cattle grid, and it's left me pretty much unable to cycle over one - so I just get off and walk.

I can cure you. There is are several in mid wales on downhills that you'll hit so fast you won't have time to brake

Lots of sound advice in respect of the OP

A confession; I've been hit from behind twice, once writing the bike off. I used to use it as a 'reason' to RLJ. Now I just think calm thoughts when stopped at lights.

 

[laertes]

You've had terrible experiences. I have a wife and young children, so I do worry about something happening to me, so I try and be safe at the expense of speed and energy. I keep off busy roads even though it costs me a couple of miles a day, and a lot more time, and I try and make conservative decisions. Even then, you can't legislate for the actions of others.

I would imagine you are mostly going to be worried about what is behind you. HOw about getting one of those little wing mirror things.

Awful bad luck does happen to people. But most cyclists, including relatively incompetent ones like me, get in and out of London OK every day (except when I fall off through my own stupidity)

 

[alecstilleyedye]

So sorry to hear of your loss. If it helps, would your boyfriend have wanted you to give up? You can't live your whole life thinking that way, it's true, but sometimes just imaginging that person saying 'chin up, keep going, don't let the bastards get you down' can help.

my sentiments precisely.

if you give up the commute, make cycling your weekend activity. if you can't ride from home in light traffic, see if you can get the bike on a train and head to somewhere nice.

 

[jonny jeez]

I've been cycling in London for 3 years. I consider myself to be a fairly competent and undangerous cyclist. Last week I was knocked down by a scooter from behind and broke some front teeth. This March my boyfriend was killed by a HGV. I love cycling and hate public transport, but I'm seriously questioning - is it worth it? I've seen how devastated my boyfriend's parents are, I don't want mine to go through the same thing.

I'm guessing most people on here will think it is worth it, so please enlighten me.

Also, any tips on the psychology of getting back on the bike after an accident?

Hello, good to meet you (sorry its in such circumstances). I am really sorry for your loss, it must be a real struggle to ride for you right now.

My thinking may not sit well with many cycle commuters but I have to say that, given your experience and concerns, maybe giving up commuting is the best thing to do. You don’t have to give up cycling if it’s something you really enjoy (you could well do with some enjoyment after such a rough year) but trying to "make" it happen is not always best.

I am mindful that, given your personal experience (not just the loss but the experience of others loss) may effect your riding in town or traffic and have a negative impact. At worse this could make you overly cautious or nervous and at best will stop you from simply enjoying the ride.

All sporting activities carry some risk and there is nothing to say that weekend riding in the woods or park is any safer than commuting, but you have personal experience of the worst side of commuting and so will probably find it hard to get over.



If you really want to get beyond this (then good for you) perhaps finding a ride buddy would help

I hope you find a way to get some enjoyment out of riding.

Jonny

 

[totallyfixed]

So very sorry to hear about this. Anyone who cycles in London faces a whole different set of challenges compared to most of the rest of us.
The psychology is a difficult one as I don't know you and we all cope differently. I have two suggestions, try and get a cycling "buddy", maybe through this forum, someone who can cycle with you on your commute or whenever you go out. There is always more safety in numbers. Secondly as Greg has already mentioned, get out into the countryside, somewhere completely different, again maybe with someone from the forum. You would be very welcome to come to Rutland, plus we have 23 miles of cycle path round a lake.
Whatever you do, don't give up, we need you and every cyclist we have to keep going.
Good luck