Conversations at inappropriate moments

[Crackle]

we've all had 'em, so what yours?

I was reminded today as I ran along the beach against the wind and through the soft sand and over the slippery pebbles, feeling like I was going backwards not forwards and trying to get my breath before I ran up the short steep slope off the beach. As I reached the top a woman started asking me how old my dog was and how far we ran and isn't it lovely. Me, I could hardly damn breathe, my HR was way up and I was trying to get my breath back and some extra in for the next set of steps and the clayee uphill over the common. I think I managed a few gurgling yes's and a grimace. I honetly don't know what she was thinking I was going to say, could she not see my suffering?

 

[philipbh]

After getting in to an outdoor, un heated swimming pool

Mrs BH from the side

How is it then?

Cold?

I'm talking to you!

Why won't you speak?

Thing was it was v cold, my ability to speak had been removed temporarily and although I wanted to say FM its cold in here! - it was all I could do to think it, let alone move my lips and make a sound!

It took about 10 minutes before i could say anything

 

[longers]

If my gran is round for tea she'll always ask a question as soon as you've just put something in your mouth.

 

[accountantpete]

At a hospital bedside Yesterday I blurted out last weeks news about the cat that sits on the bed of dying patients - thinking that my uncle was well past the ability to understand what's going on around him.

Cue entrance of another relative and an almost lucid conversation with said uncle!

 

[xpc316e]

Some years ago I worked at a Police Driving School and every year we had a fun competition against the Royal Corps of Transport at Aldershot. This particular year they were the hosts and we had a superb series of challenges set out on their extensive grounds the day after a great night in the Sgts' Mess. Our wives/girlfriends/children had been brought down that morning on a separate coach.

The Army had done its usual superb job and laid on portable toilet caravans for the women, but the men had to contend with a plank of wood suspended over some oil cans screened off by some hessian sacking on wooden posts. I desperately needed to go for a poo as pressure was rapidly building. I kept one eye on the Gents and made my way there when I was sure that nobody else was in residence. I dropped my trousers, did the deed and was just about to finish off the job by doing the paperwork when a Squaddie came in. Without any qualms he dropped his trousers and sat next to me. He then engaged me in conversation by asking me what life in the Police was like, as he was soon to leave the Forces and was considering it as a career. I wanted to die from embarrassment, but to him it seemed an ordinary conversation.

All this happened about 25 years ago, but I can still clearly recollect my shame. I never had the nerve to wipe my backside in front of another man.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

I was once helping Jim and Maureen, some friends of my parents, shift some furniture. They had a three piece suite to move, and my brother and I carried the sofa between us, then moved an armchair each. I realised that the easiest way to carry it was to put it upside down on my head. I hoisted it up and was just about to set off when Maureen said:

"So, how's things? Where are you living nowadyas?"

"Er ... Maureen. I've got an armchair on my head."

Honestly. Like I was going to stand there and make small talk.

 

[HobbesChoice]

Strangely enough, just last night I'm on a light controlled roundabout ready to go straight ahead when this van pulls up beside me (in the second lane) and rolls down the window. Just as the lights go green and I head off (I'm at the front of the queue and it's on a downhill) the passenger sticks his head out of the window and starts calling out to me!!! By now I'm actually going about 18mph on the roundabout in the pouring rain!

I've had that a couple of times recently though with people in vans wanting to have a friendly chat!

 

[Fnaar]

A few yrs ago we had a big car crash on the M1 on our way down south. As I was getting the kids out of the car and off the hard shoulder (nobody injured, but car a mess) my brother phoned my mobile to ask about Christmas presents for the kids. Had to explain our current predicament, and he thought I was winding him up!

 

[trustysteed]

If my gran is round for tea she'll always ask a question as soon as you've just put something in your mouth.

snork!

 

[TVC]

Out for a run one evening I cantered past a couple of Yoofs propping up a bench....

"Got a light mate?"

Even his sidekick looked at him in disbelief.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I found that my attempts at some light hearted conversation while Mrs 3BM was in labour weren't as welcome as I would have expected.

 

[tyred]

My dentist has a habit of asking questions and trying to make small talk while working inside your mouth and the natural inclination is to answer him, except you can't make any intelligible sound with someone poking at your teeth.

 

[HobbesChoice]

My dentist has a habit of asking questions and trying to make small talk while working inside your mouth and the natural inclination is to answer him, except you can't make any intelligible sound with someone poking at your teeth.

Although they always understand what those sounds mean! Do they learn that in Dentist school?

 

[Crackle]

Has anyone spent anytime in the States? There's no such thing as a conversation at an inappropriate moment there. I spent 5 minutes in a chair lift with a woman and knew her life story. 15 floors in a lift and knew one guys heart history. If the doors hadn't opened, I'd have seen his scars too. 2 minutes at a supermarket till and they knew my life story.

 

[joebingo]

I found that too crackle, Americans are lovely people.